Archive for April, 2010

So these LOST videos are pretty time consuming to make.  I hope you get enjoyment out of it otherwise I am wasting a severe amount of my own time, and I hope you know how to read since it is very text involved.  If you do not know how to read, well then, I guess you are not reading what I am typing right here, so I am wasting even more of my time, by addressing illiterate folk.

The title of this video is:


(It is a LONG video)

I need to also thank someone, her blog is below:

check out her site, she has some good LOST drawings……

(I used her artwork of Jacob and the Man in Black for my video…….without asking her of course, and if she has a problem with that, she just needs to tell me so……but that would REALLY suck if she wanted me to take it down, because I put way too much time into this video…..maybe I should have just asked her in advance……I know for a fact that I am way smarter in hindsight…….. WAY cooler in hindsight too, I always come up with the perfect thing to say……in hindsight.)

I hope you enjoy……

This is What Andrew Michaels is doing now…….


My drug of choose as of lately has been my mother’s 2008 Nissan Altima.  If you are a follower of my writing, then you are well aware of my issues with drug dependency.  My last battle with drugs came in the form of a highly addicted relationship with nasal spray a few months ago,
click here to read.

I am thankful everyday that when I was younger, I choose to never smoke a single cigarette in my life, because I bet you that I would fucking love them today based on my addictive tendencies.  It would be so cute, I would be hanging outside in the back porch with my girlfriend as we smoked together, instead of me staying inside on the couch, while she goes and sits outside by herself  and smokes in utter silence.  Kerri seems to talk on her cell phone a lot while she smokes by herself, and I feel that it is slightly due to the fact that I have effectively created a void in her life whenever she chooses to smoke.  I hope this will motivate her to quit someday.  But the point of this blog today is for my addictions, not her’s so I need to get back to the Nissan Altima dependency issues I am currently dealing with.

My mother wanted to leave her car at my house while she was away in Florida during her vacation.  I dropped her off at the airport last Friday, and when I came home there were already two cars in my driveway, my car and Kerri’s car.  I decided to park my mom’s car behind my jeep, since I did not want to block Kerri in, but at the same time, I did not want to have to deal with parking my moms car on the street, then pulling my Jeep out into the street, then pulling my mom’s Altima into the front of the driveway, and then finally pulling my Jeep up behind her car.  That was a lot to write to explain why I did not want to do it, so I hope it explains why I did not want to deal with it at the time, basically I was fucking lazy, and I thought that it really didn’t matter at all…………or so I thought.

Little did I know, that by me not dealing with this slight inconvenience with parking the cars properly, I have effectively transferred my addictive tendencies regarding my nasal spray dependency, directly into a 2008 Nissan Altima dependency.

I guess I owe you an explanation.  I have a 2000 Jeep Wrangler.  I love it.  But it is nice for very different reasons than a 2008 Nissan Altima.  My jeep is nice in good weather with the top down but it is a bumpy, less comfortable ride, than say a nice new car would provide.  I enjoy the Jeep for its “outdoorsy” experience, and I am always guaranteed at least one friendly “Jeep Wave”, from a fellow Jeep Wrangler owner as we drive by each other.

If you do not know about the “Jeep Wave” then this will be your crash course in its existence.  Any time a Jeep Wrangler owner is driving their car down the road, and he or she passes another Jeep owner driving in the other direction towards that driver, the two Jeep Wrangler owners will wave to each other, I would say on at least 85 percent of the occasional situations.  I say this statistic just based on personal experience, because I seem to wave to more Jeep Wrangler owners who also wave back, as opposed to waving to Jeep Wrangler owners who do not wave when I wave.  It is not always myself that initiates the Jeep Wave to the other Jeep owner, other Jeep owners take pride in their Jeep ownership as well as myself.

Like this one time when I was at the barbershop, which is rare on its own, and I was sitting in the waiting area to get my hair cut.  This older dude, who I have never scene before in my life walks into the barbershop, and proceeds to ask “Who owns the Blue Jeep outside?”  I answer “I do…”, assuming that I am either blocking him in, or my headlights are on.  He proceeds to tell me to go to his Jeep website which caters to all Jeep lovers, where they can show pictures, or share Jeep experiences in life.  He tells me the website again, and then he leaves.  I forget the name of the website within minutes, and more than likely seconds after he leaves the barbershop.  I thought that this would be my last experience with this individual, but once again I found myself being mistaken in life.

A few weeks later, I am driving down a road which was close to my barbershop, and a Jeep is driving towards me on the other side of the road.  As we pass each other, we do the “Jeep Wave”, and then I realized to who I was waving to.  It was the man from the barbershop, and I had instantly remembered him.  The very funny thing about this situation was that:

  • He had a “VERY STRONG and full of pride, Jeep Wave”


  • He nodded his head towards me as he did the wave, with an almost glimmer in his eye, showing me that he did indeed remember who I was as well.

How many other car owners can say that on any given day that you are driving, whenever you see an individual driving the same model car as you, that the both of you automatically know to wave to each other?  The Jeep wave suits me very well in life.  I like the fact that I communicate with total strangers with a friendly gesture on an everyday basis.

There are some rules to which I follow with the “Jeep Wave”, and I want to share them with you:

  1. I only do it if we are in passing of each other in the opposite direction
  2. I do not do it if another Jeep and I are both traveling in the same direction
  3. I do not do it if I am on the highway
  4. I sometimes do it if someone else is trying to pull out of a parking lot onto the main road to which I am driving on, but sometimes I think this is a bad idea and a bad habit to get used to.  The reason being that I am acknowledging that I see the Jeep when I choose to wave at the individual, but I am not acknowledging them to the point of considering to slow down for them, to allow them to get out of the parking lot, and onto the main road in front of me.

Sometimes I am drunk or such, and in the passenger seat of a friend’s car,  this is when I might be vulnerable to ridicule if it was made apparent to what I have been known to occasionally do because of “Jeep Wave habit”.  If a Jeep Wrangler is driving by me, while I am in the “not right frame of mind” while I am sitting in the passenger seat of my friends car, I will wave to the person driving the Jeep Wrangler, usually due to habit, and also due to lack of proper thinking, due to my inebriated state.  So I am probably one of the few individuals on this planet that gives the Jeep Wave to people when I am not in a Jeep, and on top of this I am not even driving the vehicle that I am in.  These instances are rare, but they have happened, and I can only assume that it would take me a long time to find a Jeep owner who does the same thing as I do on occasion.  I am sure that it happens with other Jeep owners on rare occasions as well, but finding a Jeep owner and relating with each other on this unique behavior, may never take place during my life.  I can feel hopeful that such a conversation could take place, it is always a good idea to dream big…….maybe if I just choose to remember that guy’s website, I could reach out to all Jeep owners and ask if I am alone……..or are there others out there that are like me?

Back to my drug of choice: my mothers 2008 Nissan Altima.  The next day (Saturday) when I woke up, I had some errands to run and the weather was not too great outside, so it was not an enjoyable day for the Jeep.  Thankfully I blocked my Jeep in my driveway with my mothers car.  I said, “Why not? I am going to indulge in the Altima today”

I used the Altima for my errands and I was instantly addicted.  It drove fast, it drove with good acceleration, it looked really nice, it had a key-less ignition, and it had a very comfortable interior, everything that my Jeep does not have.  I was fucking high as shit in this Nissan Altima, and I knew I had just effectively opened a huge bag of crack, and I had the ability to binge on that crack for the next week, with the only major repercussion being that I would have to fill the gas tank back up, so I thought “big fucking deal”.

Every time that I used my mothers Altima that day, I would come home and block in my Jeep in the driveway, thus giving me an excuse to just use the Altima again the next time, instead of having to do the awful task of moving two cars with only one individual doing the tasks for both cars.  So my drug habit continued because it was nice, convenient, and I have no problem admitting that I just liked using this drug.  By myself, with a friend, it mattered not, I just wanted to be in the Altima. I had NO DESIRE to be in the Jeep.  So this behavior continued: Saturday, turned into Sunday, Sunday turned into Monday, Monday into Tuesday, and Tuesday night I choose to binge on another drug of choice which was “LOST”, and then finally Tuesday turned into Wednesday.

Wednesday was the day that I decided would be my last binge of the Altima.  I woke up and drove it to Kerri’s work to bring her a coffee.  Upon returning home I decided to start the daunting task of possibly giving up my new drug of choice.  Since the only car in my driveway on Wednesday was my Jeep when I returned home (since Kerri is working) , I felt that I could easily park the Altima beside the Jeep, instead of behind it.  Now I have effectively taken a step in the right direction in regards to making an effort to kick this drug habit.  I had given myself a choice for the next time I have to leave the house.

Now I could say “It’s nice out, I can take the Jeep” or “I don’t care that it is nice out, I will just pimp out this drug habit one more day and still use the Altima”.  The main point was now I have at least given myself a choice.  I stood strong and I took the Jeep when I went out the next time.  Upon arriving home later that evening my drug dependency had effectively dealt with itself, just because of my choice in taking the Jeep out that afternoon.  When I returned home there were two cars in the driveway, both side by side, my mom’s Altima and Kerri’s car.  Kerri has to work the next morning, so I do not want to block her in, so I parked in the only natural spot for myself in the driveway, behind my drug of choice, my mom’s Nissan Altima.

I effectively shut and locked in my drug dependency, and did not allow for it to manifest my thoughts, motivation, or behavior.  I took control of the situation.  I am two for two in the department of quitting a serious drug habit, the first being nasal spray, and now the second being my mom’s Nissan Altima.

I am starting to think that Rehab and Detox is just a scam, based on my success of quitting without the help or assistance from either one, in each of my cases of drug dependency.  I must say that I have battled the occasional relapse with nasal spray, and unfortunately I am already aware that I will probably relapse with the Altima come this Saturday.  I need to put some gas into it to fill the tank back up to where my mother had it when she asked if she could “Park her car” in my driveway for the week.  I think when I fill the tank I am going to savor every moment of this temporary relapse that is planned to take place.  I plan on taking the long way to and from the gas station, and I might even intentionally take the wrong way to the gas station.

Some might say that I can avoid this relapse, by just giving my mother some gas money, and my response to this is “God no!!!! If I give her how much I probably owe her in gas money, she will know how much I actually fucking used the car, when she just wanted to have it parked safely at my place”………So paying my mother the gas money IS NOT an option.  I have one last binge…….it will take place this Saturday, I look forward to it deeply, I am highly considering the idea of taking high doses of NightQuil for the next three days, so I can just wake up on Saturday, and also just be done with these three days of withdrawal which I will most likely be experiencing today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow.

On a side note, “The Day After Tomorrow” was a fucking awful movie, as are almost all of Roland Emmerich’s movies.  This guy is not good for Hollywood.  He has made “Independence Day”, Godzilla (with Mathew Broderick), 10,000 B.C., and 2012, I have only seen two of those four, and I will not let him trick me into seeing any movie he makes ever again.  I must say that I liked “The Patriot” with my friend Mel, and I have no idea how he directed a movie that I like.

This is What Andrew Michaels is Doing Now……

Everything is Lost: Part 4

Posted: April 20, 2010 in LOST
Tags: ,

I am going to create an animation board game that describes exactly what the point of “LOST” is.  I have it all planned out beautifully……..I just do not know how to do anything regarding animation.  This project might have to be on hold indefinitely.

Jacob goes out into the world and finds human beings that have very admirable traits.    These traits in which he is searching for may include: Leadership, Loyalty, Bravery, Strength, Faith, or Forgiveness (and probably a shit load more).  When he finds people who show these traits strongly in life, Jacob pays them a visit and touches them.  When he touches them, he is not thinking about their well being.  Instead, he is choosing these people to represent human beings, with their main purpose, is to be persuaded by evil or the “Man in Black”.  It is ultimately up to these individuals to be persuaded by evil to do something evil, and in return, you will get what you desire most.

Jacob picked these candidates to get brought to the island, and individually hand picked each of them because of their individual strengths in human character that these candidates exhibit.  Jacob knows that by touching these individuals, they will each be put into an extreme situation, of being persuaded by evil, with their wildest dreams being promised to them if they give in to temptation.  Jacob believes that at least some candidates that he brought to the island, will in the end, not be manipulated by this evil, and they would rather stand for the greater good of humanity by preventing the evil from ever leaving the island.

Lost is a board game.  Jacob finds all the “pieces” that the “Man in Black” can use, in anyway that he is capable of manipulating or persuading.  It is the “Man in Black’s” time right now in the show, that he has been working at and manipulating, for a very long time.

He has manipulated countless people and candidates, in countless ways, in order to be where he is right now with these people and candidates.  He only has so many pieces left to use in this board game.  These also happen to be the people that Jacob touched, and manipulated to be right where they are, right now on the island.  Jacob knows that these people will not ever let the evil leave the island.

I want to make an animation board game that describes exactly what I explained above, but showed it in a comedic way.  I have it all planned out beautifully……..I just do not know how to do anything regarding animation.  This project might have to be on hold indefinitely…….


Posted: April 19, 2010 in Uncategorized

I have always loved this song since the first time I heard it.  I first heard this song in the commercial below.  I have also loved the commercial since I first saw it as well.  I guess I am just a big pussy, and oh fucking well, I am dealing with this issue on a day to day basis, and I will update you in the future, if I ever resolve my issues.

Incidentally, if you push play on this you tube video, and then you just listen to the song while reading the post below regarding man hugs, the man hug post becomes even sappier.

When was the last time you really “Hugged it out” with someone because of some overwhelming emotional experience?

It could be a hug of  great sadness or a hug of great joy, but in either instance, it results in the same outcome:

  • You “hugged it out” with someone, MUCH HARDER, than you would normally hug that individual in a typical hugging situation.  So, I am speaking in regards to a greater amount of strength, that you put into the holding of the other individual, and at the same time I am also speaking about the greater endurance of time, that you put into the hug, while you are holding that individual.

If you are a guy, and you are reading this, I have another question for you which goes deeper into thought:

  • When was the last time you exhibited a hugging situation like I described above, AND it was a “Man Hug” at the same time?

I’m going to  call this phenomena:

“The Extreme Man Hug”

Stronger and longer man hug situations do not occur on a regular basis in my life.  I can probably count the amount of memorable  “Extreme Man Hugs”,  on my left hand while only using two fingers to count each of the  instances.  I am going to share both of those “Extreme Man Hug” situations with you.

  • The last “Extreme Man Hug” situation that I was in, occurred when I hugged my good friend Andrew, right after he got married. We were  on the beach in St Thomas and it was a genuine moment of extreme happiness for my good friend.

This was in May of 2007.  This means that it is almost my three year “Extreme Man Hug” anniversary, which also makes me think to remind my friend Andrew that his three year wedding anniversary is coming up in May as well.  But then again, this would be a waste of time for me and him, because he is not the type of person who needs to be reminded about important dates,  such as his anniversary.

Before my “Extreme Man Hug” with Andrew, I had one other memorable one :

  • It occurred when I hugged my good friend Bill,  when I saw him at his younger brother’s wake.   It was a genuine moment of extreme sadness, for my good friend, during his time of sorrow and loss.

This untimely event occurred in 2005.  I cannot think of any other “Extreme Man Hug”  situations before Bill’s and after Andrew’s.  I am ok with only having two “Extreme Man Hugs”, and I feel that a man should not be over stimulated with constant “Extreme Man Hugs”.  Since they are so rare, it shows and reminds me who some of my very good male friends are.

In order for an “Extreme Man Hug” to occur, there is only ONE thing that needs to be in place:

  • You just need to have a really good male friend.

When you have at least one good male friend, you will both go on and experience life, with and without each other.  At some point in both of your lives, you will be in the same location, during an overwhelmingly emotional situation for one or both of you.  It is at this time when the “Extreme Man Hug” takes place.

I have experienced two “Extreme Man Hugs” in my life worth mentioning.   They have each occurred in my life,  because of emotions coming from situations in life, which are considered to be on the opposite sides of the emotional spectrum.  One “Extreme Man Hug” had occurred for me at one of my good friend’s wedding due to great happiness, and another  “Extreme Man Hug” had occurred for me with a good friend, at his brother’s wake, due to great sadness.

So, today I have poured my soul out to every person who comes upon this page, when you read the words to which I have just written.  I started writing about comedy related man hug situations when I decided to write today, and that went to shit when I started to write about serious man hug situations that I have experienced in my life.  I hope that it was entertaining for you to read, albeit on a different level, compared to the lack of seriousness, to which my writing usually exhibits.

Any guy want to share their  “Extreme Man Hug” story?  If you are less secure with manlihood, you are more than welcome to make it annonymous.

This is What Andrew Michaels is Doing Now…….

Do you remember the “I’m Spicy!” commercials for Burger King?  I always thought that those commercials were THE SHIT, and I always found myself laughing at this guy saying “I’m Spicy!”, in his attempts at winning some form of appreciation from his co-workers.  His attempts at making them laugh, and gain some stature among the group is unsuccessful in the commercial, and the co-workers just kind of make fun of him. Isolating someone else in their own stupidity, is a great form of entertainment, in order to help get through a typical Monday morning, of otherwise weekly repetitive mediocrity.

Watch now……

It’s pretty awesome that Joel Mchale was a part of this as well……

Every now and then, throughout the years I have pulled out an “I’m Spicy!” out of no where, with the hopes of some form of comedic effect among my peers.


This story is the recollection of the last time I have tried to use “I’m Spicy!”, as a form of attention grabbing humor among a group of inebriated individuals.

This past February, for one of my very good friend’s 30th birthday party, we traveled all the way to Killington Mountain and all stayed together in a condo for the weekend.  Everyone who went got a great deal of skiing done, while we were staying at a excellent north eastern ski resort.

My pinky was extremely fucked at this point in my life (for visual evidence, read “my valentines day”, you can see my x-rays of my dislocation), so I decided that my main activities would be drinking alcohol all day, eating food all day, hanging with friends after they skied, and snoring ridiculously loud due to a highly inebriated induced coma.

When we were all hanging out at the table, drinking beers, playing cards, and eating food, I just decided to yell out in a high pitch voice “I’m spicy”…….


It was then, that I saw everyone look at me while having confused looks on their faces.  I said to them, “No one remembers those burger king commercials?” , and in fact not one person, in the entire fucking condo, knew what I was talking about.  I decided to say it again in hopes of someone remembering it……..


No response………..just blank fucking stares.

At this point, I found myself in my own “spicy situation”.  The thing that I said to try to make everyone laugh, only attracted blank, non laughing, confused, almost pitiful like stares, back upon me.  I felt like what the “I’m Spicy Guy” felt like in his commercials, when no one laughed at his attempts at humor, all for a way to feel some form of appreciation from the group.

I always used to laugh at those Burger King commercials, because I never felt the loneliness and severe attempts to feel acceptance among a group through the use of humor, like the “I’m Spicy Guy” felt.

Good thing that I don’t give any slight fuck AT ALL, what my friends think about me, or what I say, especially during a weekend of which I was expected to do nothing but drink alcohol all day, eat food all day, hang with friends after they skied, and snore ridiculously loud due to a highly inebriated induced coma.

Later in the night my friends and I were playing High Low Jack.  There were eight of us playing so we had four teams of two.  My friend Scott from college  was playing with us, and on a regular basis since I have known Scott, when I hang out with him, I constantly question his intelligence.

I still really like him, but he can come out with some of the dumbest shit, all while he doesn’t think that what he said was dumb.

His friend sitting after him,was second to act, and did not know how to play.  We let Scott look at his friends hand to tell him what he should bid. (It was a very laid back game of High Low Jack obviously)

Scott looked at his friends hand and saw a (10,  6, and a 2 of spades).  He then proceeded to say that his friend should bid a THREE.

  • There were 8 people playing
  • There were 48 out of 52 cards dealt out to those 8 people,
  • More than likely almost every single ace, king, queen, and jack…..OF EVERY SUIT INCLUDING SPADES,  was dealt out to those 8 people

I tried to explain this to Scott, but Scott proceeded to not listen to my rational thought, and just continued to be retarded, by truly believing that:

  • In a high low jack game with 8 players and almost EVERY card dealt
  • His friend should bid a THREE, while he was in second position to bid
  • While he was holding a 10,  6, and a 2 of spades

I don’t get it,  but then again, I don’t think that I have ever really understood my college roommate, Scott.  Maybe that’s exactly why I have always had fun hanging out with him…….

This is What Andrew Michaels is doing now……….

If you read my blog at least occasionally, I can only assume that you can find humor in things that people who are kind of stuck up, seem have trouble finding.  I found these reviews extremely entertaining.  This guy can be hit or miss with the comedy, but I feel he is spot on with why the prequel trilogy of Star Wars was an epic failure compared to the original trilogy, in terms of movie making…….