Archive for the ‘college memories’ Category

College Memories: Enough!

Posted: July 16, 2010 in college memories
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This one time I was extremely intoxicated with my good friend in college.   We were in our junior year, and it must have been around 3 in the morning.  We were hanging out in my screened in porch, in the duplex that I lived in at that time.

My friend’s name was Ali.  She was one of those girls who was good friends with us guys, because I just think that she had the overwhelming ability to get along very well with guys like ourselves.  Some girls acted certain ways to impress people, and then there was Ali, who really didn’t care about the impressions that she left.  She was who she was, and we liked who that person was.

She once got in a fist fight with one of our roommates……he deserved it.

So its 3 in the morning, her and I are taking turns impersonating Chris Farley.  We regularly quoted “Tommy Boy”, and this night in particular, we kept repeating the scene:

And this is what happens when you use “The Other guy’s” brake pads…..

There’s the talk of driving along, the eventual fire in the car, the paramedics arrive,  say “oh my god” in that deep voice:

PUSH PLAY

And then there is the line:

PUSH PLAY

So we just can’t enough of this line, back and fourth we are repeating it, and then making the vomit noise each time.  Needless to say our conversations did not improve the world we live in, in any way that night.  After a little while, I was in the process of saying it again, and I heard an extremely loud “ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!”

I looked over immediately to see the girl who was living in the other part of the duplex out side the porch staring at us, breathing heavy with extreme fury.

Have you ever been very intoxicated, and something crazy happens, to snap you out of your drunken stupor long enough for you to consciously realize how fucked up that you actually are?

This girl had this very effect on me at that moment.  This was hardly the only time we pissed her off, and this was at a time in my life when I tend to think that I was a really, really nice guy.

I think it was her own fault that we probably annoyed her on a regular basis.  She was just the type of girl who drained your life-force, when she set her stuck up eyes upon you. She would not add to the party.  Her being at the party would bring it down a level or two.  She had her looks, and she most likely had her money from her parents, but there was very little redeeming qualities in regards to her personality.

I now today wonder 9 years later:

How long she was laying in her bed listening to us repeat the same Chris Farley quote over and over again?   We were repeating it for about 10 minutes straight.  So I can only imagine that she was laying there, listening to it for a while before she actually approached us with her anger.

Each time that we finished yelling the quote, and then making the puke noise, she was probably there laying in bed, thinking that “it HAD to be the last time that these assholes were going to say it, they have been going back and fourth with it forever…………”

It gets quiet,

she closes her eyes,

takes a deep breath and says:

“Finally I can go to sleep…..”

“…………”

“……………………”

“……………………………..”

“……………………………………………”

“………………………………………………………………….”

“……………………………………………………………………………………..”

PUSH PLAY

Her eyes open immediately, she is staring at the ceiling, she probably jumps up out of bed violently, screams something that contains the word fuck, fucking, or fuckers.  She then runs out of the front door in her pajamas, she comes around the corner, comes up to the porch as I am in the process of saying it yet again:

PUSH PLAY

“Enough!”

I sit in astonishment, as I am self aware of how intoxicated I actually am.  She walks away and I look at Ali, and we both laugh uncontrollably in a situation that we are trying not to laugh in.

In hind sight we should have not tried to hide the fact that we were laughing.  We should have then proceeded to ask her if she wanted some of the grain alcohol that I was drinking at 3 in the morning, and ultimately see if she would try the impersonation as well.

This girl would absolutely hate my website, that is the only thing for sure, that I know about her today…….

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now……..

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