Archive for the ‘american idol’ Category

Welcome to my one sided, very limited review of the top 24 performances of American Idol 2011………

First off, Chris Medina is much better than at least 15 of these top 24.

But that’s beside the point.  I have moved on…….. to my main man Paul, of course.

It was finally Paul McDonald’s turn for the stage.

This easily got me excited, in a non-sexual way.

This would soon change though, when I heard him sing “Maggie May”.

(Occasionally, I find that I am an unintentional poet of EPIC proportions.)

PUSH PLAY

I can see myself as the, “Charlie Sheen of poetry”.

Because the dude IS EPIC…….

If I am not that epic………then I might consider myself “The drug use of Charlie Sheen (of poetry)”

If I am not that epic as well……then I am at least, “The parties hosted by Charlie Sheen (of poetry)”.

Back to Paul McDonald……

I looked to my girlfriend when “Maggie May” started, and I said:

This is why I love fucking this guy”

 

He did a great job with the song, he picked a song that suits him perfectly.  I would have loved to see and hear the ending to the song (which he omitted), most likely due to time constraints.

The mannerisms of this guy are top fucking notch too.  My girlfriend said that, “He look’s like he is having fun”.

I told her that she just came up with the title for my next blog post for Idol.

The dude does look like he’s having fun…….

Watch and enjoy:

 

 

But then, there was another performance that I also thought was top notch too.

Yes…..it’s true that I have yet to mention Casey Abrams.

He is probably number 1 for my girlfriend.

What I really like about him; is his demeanor and voice while he is singing, compared to when he is not.

It’s a pretty big difference.

He seems like he can really get into “character” when he sings, and I think that is important for performing artists.

Watch the whole video, and you will see what I mean.

This is looking to be the “Charlie Sheen of American Idol seasons”……

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now…..

American Idol is back bitches!…….Well it has been for a bit, but it is now back on my blog.

I REALLY LIKE ALL THREE JUDGES A LOT.

J-LO is not as annoying as many most likely expected her to be.  She seems quite sweet and likable.

Steven Tyler is the man, even in his underage inappropriate ways.

Watch this if you want examples……

And Randy is Randy I guess.

Since I openly admit to watching this show, I have no problem talking and writing about it from time to time.  I consider myself a casual viewer.  It’s far from the end of the world if I miss an episode.

Usually I will have a laptop beside me.  When a singer does his or her thing, I might look up and see who it is.  I then look to my girlfriend; give a thumbs up or thumbs down, and then get back to reading whatever was holding my attention (better than that singer).

But every so often………..someone really grabs my attention.  Being a heterosexual, I find it odd to say that it is usually a dude who has the ability to captivate me……..not a pretty lady.

I did acquire two man crushes last night.  One was in the making since I first saw him, the other was acquired in a rather quicker fashion.  I will discuss him first.

Mancrush 1

His name is Paul McDonald.

I think this dude will go far in the competition.

I do not think he is as scrubby as his hair might make him out to be.

I also believe that he takes a lot of time to get his hair to look like that…..(just the opinion from a guy who thinks about hair on a fairly regular basis)

After he covered “Blackbird” by the Beatles, I said that he was my favorite……..

He is the first person on this video and sings two songs……check him out.  I think both songs are within the first minute.

I also think that he could have played himself in LOST, and he would have been a better “Charlie” than Dominic Monaghan (who never had the charisma that I feel that a character like “Charlie” should have had).

Mancrush 2



His Name is Chris Medina.

I always really liked this dude.

If you watch the show, you know that this guy is extremely admirable in his life story.

If you don’t know it and want to see his story, here is the video  (his audition is at the 2:30 mark if you just want to hear him sing):

Anyways……..this guy won me over before he even sang……….and then he fucking sung.

He was great…..just what I was looking for in a mancrush………a good voice, a great personality, and an admirable story.

He sang last night………check it out

When he finished that song, I said that “He is my new favorite……”

Then he was eliminated by the judges.

Fuck those asshole judges……..

J-LO……what a stuck up bitch, you are colder than Simon.

And you know what?  Simon would not have let him be eliminated.

And Randy……..dawg, you got no heart……..no fucking heart dawg………

Steven, you are still the man.  You can do WHATEVER the fuck you want.  Relapse once a year for the rest of your life if you want to.  My opinion of you will NEVER change.

Anyways……

I still have Paul McDonald I guess…….but for right now Paul………you just can’t fill this Chris Medina void.

I will heal and mend over time though…… and then come again to embrace you once again in the coming weeks.

On a side note………I hope that wonderful things happen for Chris Medina, if anyone deserves such great things in life, it is him……

On a further side note…….. Hopefully I do not talk or write about any more mancrushes for a while, but if I do………… it will most likely be my vote for up and coming “A LIST movie star”, Bradley Cooper……..of course.

Mancrush 3

I mean…….can you honestly think of anyone who can wear an entirely black suit better than he does in “The Hangover”?

I can’t………

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now……………

So I have already admitted to occasionally watching American Idol.  My girlfriend likes it and I admit that there are much worse things that I could have to watch than American Idol.  Here are some of the things that caught my attention the other night.

Let me once again state for the record that I want to have Ellen’s’ hair from 1999.  I do not, on the other hand want Ellen’s hair of 2010.

This guy is fucking RIDICULOUS……..even Simon agrees with me……This guy might be a step above some of the guys on the Jersey Shore.

I tend to think that this guy is pretty charming for some reason. Unfortunately, he did not make it through the first week of Hollywood.  Even Simon was taken back by him in his audition.  I had hopes for him.

I got real tired of this girl real fast……you never know though, maybe I will  start to embrace and enjoy her…… maybe I will also embrace and enjoy a urethra swab test.

This girl was pretty good, but I couldn’t stop being reminded of the guy in the “Pit of Despair” from the movie “The Princess Bride”…..

This guy one me over immediately…… I want this guy to win the whole show.

This is WhatAndrewMichaelsisdoingnow……Showing you what I believe are the highlights of American Idol Hollywood Week 1.

All right, I will admit it, I occasionally watch American idol.  Its very easy for me to admit to such things as this these days, because anyone who knows me is fully aware that I really do not care about what anyone really thinks about me (although deep down I would prefer it if you liked me).  I watched a couple parts of the premiere the other night, and figured that there was some blog worthy material worth mentioning.  I have more confessions to make before I can get to the reasons I choose to blog about it though.

I started watching American idol, I would say occasionally in season 8, which was last season I believe.  I knew and know who Adam Lambert is, but for some reason I am having trouble remembering who won it last season.   Did Kelly Clarkson win it last year?

I know she didn’t win it, but she did look like meatloaf in the some recent pictures I saw of her on the internet after my habit of checking out Dlisted.com (I must give them credit for the picture and the meatloaf reference)  I know that sounds really mean, but please let me explain, I am not referring to her looking like a large chunk of ground beef with egg, breading, and seasoning……..That would be totally rude and inappropriate of me to say.

What I am saying is, that she looks like the large and in charge, male singer……who is like 60 now.

Moving on, Posh Spice makes everyone who auditions, feel lusted for by her sexy facial expressions of desire, constantly longing for more of the beautiful, luscious, sounds of the heavenly like voices, which caress her symmetrically perfect eardrums.  I truly believe that she is capable of tasting these voices, and that they are the main source of her daily caloric intake. On a side note I remember seeing an episode of a television show called “Super humans” on the History Channel.  This one guy said he could taste sounds, and it showed him sitting, while this opera woman sang for him…..the fucking guy was licking his lips and everything, during her performance, it was kind of weird.

Posh was the main purpose of this days blog and I was going to put a video together with all her facial expressions edited together, but that will take me too long, and youtube is acting funky, I think they have problems with me posting copyrighted material (Which is broadcast for free through the airwaves), maybe I will update this blog later with the video if youtube does not suspend my account….. (so I found one instance and just looped it, I don’t feel like watching the whole episode to find more examples…..)

Back to this Kelly Clarkson though.   She looks like she pounds down some serious food like the rest of us.   Though I am not sure that when everyone else eats a lot of food, that you would get larger, AND take on a strikingly similar appearance to MeatLoaf, but I do think it is worth discussing and analyzing what I would do if, or when this happens to me……

I would deal with this severe situation in one of the following 2 out of 3 ain’t bad ways:

  1. Use drugs to not gain the weight……….seriously, I am the type of guy who would rather have a ridiculously bad drug habit and look cracked out, while looking totally awesome…….Then take on the appearance,  when I am not even 30 yet, to that of meatloaf.
  2. Develop Bulimia……….seriously, why would anyone in their right mind want to be anorexic, when they can just be bulimic instead??  This makes NO SENSE to me whatsoever ……..OK……… so I kinda get that you are striving for attention from people, so you then in turn develop an eating disorder to gain that attention that you desperately seek……… but WHY do you choose the eating disorder which says that  “you are not to eat, or enjoy any fucking food at all?????”  Why would you pick that one? Do you actually enjoy the starving pains all the time, while also constantly acting ridiculously bitchy??? Why not just get that attention that you desperately seek, by pounding down all the food that you possibly can, buffet style, and then just bang it out finger style, in the toilet?????  If I ever develop an eating disorder to deal with being overweight/taking on the appearance of meatloaf….. it is 100 % positively sure to be bulimia and not anorexia…….food is WAY too awesome to be disrespected with a childlike behavior such as ignoring it. There are a lot of ignorant people out there, who should be ashamed of themselves……..
  3. Exercise at least 4-5 times a week for at least 45 minutes, eat a balanced diet, do not smoke, only drink alcohol on occasion AND always drink it in moderation…….. Basically, I would only have to become a total douchebag……  All while not enjoying myself in life, because I obsessively work hard at not being fat and looking like meatloaf.  Thank fucking god that I have the other two options, because if this was my only option to ensure me to not be fat/look like meatloaf upon times of me eating a substantial amount of food, I would venture to guess that I would have a really good fucking chance of being fat and looking like meatloaf.

This is what Andrewmichaelsisdoingnow, starting off on American idol,  getting off topic with ways to try not being fat while also taking on the appearance of meatloaf,  pointing my finger at all the rude, ignorant, disrespectful, politically incorrect people in the world……….all while wondering how many blog posts does it take for me to reserve a spot in hell.