Archive for the ‘Holiday Specials’ Category

I know that Valentines Day is more or less for the ladies, BUT for the most part, it wouldn’t be possible without the men.  If we took away all of the men in this world, Valentines Day would lose most of its romantic appeal…….once again, for most women. (Unless all women choose to become lesbians in an attempt to find some source of affection.)  Men should be able to enjoy Valentines day as much as women do.  It does not mean that you should be cringing in pain for over 2 hours like I had to.

Even though I was cringing in pain for hours, I have decided that my Valentine’s Day was better off than a lot of the other Valentines Days men experienced and had to endure.

Here is what I did not have to do

  • It’s not like I had to watch a romantic comedy (my girlfriend is way cooler than that, we watched “THE FINAL DESTINATION”, primarily for the kills, not for the acting or story, which was awful…….not to say that she does not like a romantic comedy, she would rather do something that we both get entertainment out of).
  • It’s not like I had to express for hours how much I loved my girlfriend (She knows about this on a daily basis whenever we are together)
  • And finally its not like I had to go to some overpriced restaurant to show her how much I cared for her (We just went to our favorite Chinese restaurant right down the street)

Here is what I did have to do

I did however have to spend 3 hours in the emergency room for dislocating my pinky finger and slightly fracturing it,  while I was playing basketball the morning of Valentines Day. (2 hours and 15 minutes of which, was waiting in the waiting room, which we were told would be a 30 minute wait)

Some people might say “Well that’s what you get for playing basketball on Valentines Day, instead of  being with your girlfriend…..” I have the perfect response to such a statement, which is,  “FUCK……….YOU……..”

Now, I also know you can make fun of me by saying that it is the smallest finger and it could be so much worse.  I beg to differ.  Sitting with any mangled appendage for two hours while you are waiting for a doctor to forcefully put it back in its right spot is, god……damn…… awful, even if it is the smallest one……and yes, my pinky finger is my smallest appendage, depending on my mood of course.

Last week on The Office, Ryan brought up the movie “Saw” while plotting a plan with Dwight to get Jim out of his management position. He was talking about the movie’s psychological torment factor, and I think what he was saying, was fitting to my situation.

On a side note I love when the office references awesome things like LOST and The Lord of the Rings.  Here are two examples of how awesome the writers of The Office are.

Every so often while I am watching The Office, I say to my girlfriend “Thank you for introducing me to The Office.”  Not only am I truly meaning what I say, but I am also waiting for a similar compliment in return.  She responds the same way every time, and I wait for it every time, she says “Your welcome, thank you for introducing me to Lost.”

On a side side note, the more I look at the words “The Office” the weirder it looks, has that ever happened to you?  You get so used to something; like a word, and then it temporarily looks strange and foreign to you?

Back to my main point……..Its not the physical pain I was going through while I was waiting for hours in the emergency room.  It was the psychological torment equivalent to that of which the  characters go through in the movie “Saw”, to which I had to endure for a few hours, while I waited for someone to pull and put my mangled finger back into its right spot.

Here is my xray:

I am epitome of a wimp….The first thing that I said to the doctor was if she could give me something to bite down on, while she pulled on and fixed my finger.  She then proceeded to give me 2 separate Novocaine shots directly into the base of my finger.  Then I was finally ready for her to fix it and I squeezed a towel with my other hand as hard as I could.  She really was done fixing it before I even realized that she started the process.  I sat there in laughter for a few seconds.

The psychological torment of Saw was over, and extremely uncalled for.  Too bad the people in the Saw movies didn’t have a doctor with novocaine with them to help them through the idea of cutting their own leg off.  I do not believe that Jigsaw would want it to be this way for his victims though.  Even after Jigsaws death I believe that all the murders that Jigsaw is associated with in the present movies, he probably stated in his will, and that it was his dying wish, that he was  EXTREMELY AGAINST the use of novocaine to make his victims feel a little more comfortable.

For some very strange reason, I was under the impression that once the finger gets put back in place and put in a splint, most of the pain would be gone.  I was sadly mistaken, it likes to throb in pain as we speak.  This morning, our cat walked directly on my pinky finger as I was sleeping.  I must say that pain, is the best alarm clock.

Yesterday, I took my splint off  and my girlfriend said “Put that back on, you are only supposed to take that off while you are in the shower” I responded “Yeah, but I didn’t shower today.”

Now I am in contemplation of whether or not I should shower today.  I have nothing to do, no where to go, I am on vacation, its snowy outside with less than good driving conditions, and I am a victim of a recent extremely serious injury.  But Lost is on tonight, and I want to be so fresh, and so clean, for my favorite show.

This is WhatAndrewMichaelsisdoingnow……showing how my Valentines Day experience was probably a lot less painful and a lot more bearable than other guys’ Valentines Day experiences.