Archive for November, 2010

Yeah, I thought up the idea of text messaging in 1993, except it was for beepers and not cell phones.

Yeah, I invented the fucking snuggie back in 1999, but it was and always will be called “The Mex”.

Yeah, I even thought up the idea for Myspace and facebook back in 1999, but I thought no one would go for it since at that time “only losers would want to meet on the internet”.

Last night I came up with my next big idea, at least I view it as a big idea.  I WILL make it happen this time……..Anyone who replies to this blog post with kind words of encouragement will be offered the best job in the world from me, when it takes off……..What do you have to lose?

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now……

Advertisements

My status as of late…….

Posted: November 21, 2010 in ALL ABOUT ME

So my book is going well, I have nine chapters written, most are incomplete chapters and will need more added to them.  It takes a long time to write a book the way I planned  on writing it.  I only write when I feel inspired to write about some odd adventure that my characters have found themselves in the middle of.  Originally when I started to write this book, I had around 3 chapters written, and over the next 4 or five weeks the book became 6 chapters.  Then there was a dry spell in my life in regards to really having a good idea for where the next chapters will take my characters.  So for around a month or so, the book had basically remained how it was, with a little polishing happening from time to time within the 6 chapters that have already been written.  Sometimes this happens with me and my motivation to write, but the only way I will ever add anything to my book is during times of inspirational writing.  In the past, my times of inspirational writing resulted in my blog pieces, now that time usually goes towards my book.

Since Thursday of this week I have started on three new chapters of my book bringing it to a total of 9 chapters.  I had a few good days and some good ideas that came to me and I have since added around twenty new pages to my book.  I believe I am sitting at around 60 pages so far.  My goal for the time being is to come up with the concepts for 15 solid chapters.  Once those have been fleshed out and typed, I plan to go back to all chapters and edit it all together to flow serenely.

Like you even fucking fucking care what I am typing here……you most likely found this site and have quickly left it without finishing reading what this said, because you were looking for homosexual pornography which unfortunately is not on this site, but since my blog seems to pop up that way on the yahoo and google search engines due to prior blog pieces I have written. I receive around 30 people like you a day visiting my site looking for such videos……I like the traffic though, thank you.

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now………

I guess you could say that we are all superhuman on some level, but it just so happens that most of the superhuman powers we have will not help save the day for someone who is in need of superhuman assistance.  My friend Rowan is a superhuman.  I have talked about Rowan before on this blog.  I mentioned a long time ago on here that he wears a pony tail better than Steven Seagal.

Here is a pretty pimp picture of Steven Seagal wearing a do-rag with Puff Daddy.  Actually now that I look at it, I think thats P-DIDDY.

Regardless of how pimp Steven Seagal looks in this picture wearing a do-rag alongside who might actually be Lil Wayne, Rowan’s ponytail wearing ability is considered to me as being superhuman. However, this ponytail wearing superhuman power that he has is not his true superhuman power.  Rowan’s real superhuman power is in his ability to urinate longer than anyone else I have ever known in my entire life.

Throughout the many years of drinking with Rowan whether it was in high school, college, or life since college; I have inadvertently been in the presence of Rowan on many occasions while he was taking a ridiculously long piss.

Last year before I started this blog, I just wrote many different entertaining things down in a black book that my girlfriend bought me.  I had negotiated a deal with Rowan in regards to his extraordinary urinating ability on October 22nd 2009.  I wrote down all the details of the deal in the black book.  This is exactly what I wrote:

“I want to take Rowan out to a bar for as many drinks that he wants all on me, as long as he doesn’t take a piss.  He would take advantage of this situation.  I would then get to record how long his piss is.  He is the longest pisser that I know of as it is.  The piss that he takes after taking advantage of free drinks will be groundbreaking.

He wants to do it, there will be rules.

He can puke and still get drinks, but not if he takes a piss.

Rowan is giving me attitude, he wants 2 years of time to decide when he is ready for this night of debauchery.

I negotiate and offer him 3 months time.

It’s off, he doesn’t want to do it.

It’s back on, we renegotiated to 11 months and 2 weeks.  We are both happy with this time frame.

So John has until October 6th 2010.

When will he do it?

I don’t know

To be continued……..

October 22nd 2009.”

So last night Rowan came over my house for the fire I was having.  After talking for a while I remember about the obligation he has towards me.  I run inside, grab my black book and read him the entry that I wrote down last year.  I tell him that he has not fulfilled his part of the agreement.  I was not interested in going to a bar last night, but John wanted fulfill his agreement as best he could.

John drank a lot of beers at my house, and then proceeded to drink as much water that he could possible get down.  He then took my cell phone into the bathroom and recorded his urination on audio.  I want to share that file with you right now.  Please make sure you listen to the whole thing, there may be a few seconds when you think that it is done, but there is more.  And just in case you are wondering, this is not fake…..

Click to listen:

Thank you Rowan, I bet that Steven Seagal and Ja Rule couldn’t urinate longer than you, even if they combined there times together and both wore do-rags.

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now……….