Robot Unicorn Attack……

PUSH PLAY

I have to let LOST marinate another day until I blog about it…….it was the shit.

I would like to thank Kerri for showing me this game, I would like to also thank Josh for showing it to her….

So my girlfriend and I were playing this game on the computer that you can play on adultswim.com  I have to admit it is pretty addicting and I admit that it is also very gay.

My girlfriend said that maybe I should not use the word “gay” when describing it.  I responded to her,  “But, in the game you are a unicorn……..and when you make the unicorn jump, there are streaks of rainbows…….. and when you make the unicorn dash, there are streaks of rainbows……… and there are rainbows all over the fucking place in the sky……….How is it not gay?”

She said that maybe I should say something like  “Don’t let this game fool you, it is pretty awesome”…..

I responded to her by saying, that when she says such a thing like that, she is essentially saying that games that are flamboyant with rainbows everywhere and your character being a unicorn, would normally not be considered awesome and by you saying “Don’t be fooled”…….that is much more offending than calling it what it is……. An awesome, addicting, gay game.

She sat there without a response.  I think I claimed defeat in that argument, but maybe she was just ignoring me since I like to be right.  Also, when I retell a conversation on my blog, I probably write to make myself sound more right……..She can start a blog of her own if she has a problem with this.

My girlfriend and I have very effectively morphed into our over the top competitive 9 years old mindsets, like when we would be  playing 8-bit Nintendo.

I do not think that we would have enjoyed each other back then, in times of 8-bit Nintendo video game playing…..Our competitive video game playing natures, may have made us each other’s nemesis.  First impressions last a long time, but video game grudges as a first impression last a lifetime.

Within this mind frame that we are both experiencing while we play ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK, we have remembered that:

• Neither one of us liked to take turns playing video games.  We both always think that it should be our turn….no one else’s.  Most fights with my brothers growing up, was in result of me not wanting to give up the controller.  Today in the present, we both have extreme difficulty passing the laptop to each other after we die, exactly the same way our 9 year old selves, hated giving up the Nintendo controller upon dying.
• Neither one of us like it when some one is talking to us, while we are trying our best to pay attention at the task at hand……which is, keeping that fucking unicorn from blowing up.  I regularly blamed, and instantly yelled at my friends and brothers when I would die playing a Nintendo game, and I would yell “I DIED because YOU were talking….” I said this in a VERY mean way (And I truly believed this was the cause of my death in the video game, and you know what, fuck it, I still believe it….I regularly tell Kerri that I am blaming her for the reason why I just died in Robot Unicorn Attack.)

My 8-bit Nintendo controllers had bite marks all over them, I feel I can safely say this knowing that I am not alone.  If I am alone I would like to explain myself.

I was never a controller thrower when I died in a Nintendo game……I understood that doing such a thing was the WORST way to take out your stress on the Nintendo, seeing as you might not have the ability to play anymore if you broke it.

I would think and most of the time yell out loud “I should not have died there……the Nintendo is being cheap”.

Even though I knew that it was bad to throw and possibly break my controller, I felt just as much stress as those who idiotically choose to throw and possibly break their controllers.  I found that biting my controller was a better stress relieving behavior.  I want to punish the Nintendo for being cheap, but I do not want to hurt it to the point of not being able to function.  Biting my Nintendo controller was a good way for me, to let it know that it is acting like such a fucking asshole in its cheesy way it made me die.

Anyways………………

SCOREBOARD:   (Who else is up for the challenge??)

FIRST PLACE:          ANDREW MICHAELS (OF COURSE)

SECOND PLACE                            KERRI

THIRD PLACE                             LYNNE D.

FOURTH PLACE PETE D

There are a few things that I would like to point out.

• My high score is no mistake……It is 97,000
• If you are trying this game for the first time, it will take you some practice to even come close to my worst wish for your combined wishes score……never mind my second worst wish, and never mind my ridiculously high wish, and finally totally fucking forget about coming even remotely close to my combined score of all three wishes.
• Drew….You will not beat this score, if you do, I will beat yours upon finding out how high you scored. I will need a picture emailed to me for proof.  (If you push the “control” and “prtscn” keys on the keyboard at the same time it takes a picture of whatever you are looking at on your computer screen…so make sure you are looking at your score on the screen…then go into the basic paint program in windows, and click on edit, and then paste…..your high score will show up in paint, then just save and email.)
• Anyone who wants to email me a picture of their high score, I will post the picture with your name and current ranking.

1. Go to http://www.adultswim.com
2. Click on GAMES
3. Click on Robot Unicorn Attack

* It is awesome
* The music is right up my alley
* It is addicting
* Embrace it, and enjoy the shit out of it…….

This is WhatAndrewMichaelsisdoingnow………………