Archive for February, 2013

The Bobbit worm…..

Posted: February 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

It was December 23rd, 2012 when I filmed this.  I have been thinking that I will be better off telling some of my stories using my camcorder on the IPAD as opposed to writing them all out.  I get it all out with much less work on my behalf. 




Mathew Wilder in his prime for comparison to Jazz and Sparrow……

ImageThis is what Andrew Michaels is doing now…….


Blue in the Face

Posted: February 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

I watched the movie “blue in the face” tonight. It’s one of those movies; that throughout my years of consciousness, has somehow slipped through the nooks and crannies of my attention.

I had never even heard of it until very recent and I stumbled upon it by accident. It came out in 1995 and has a awesome cast. Check it out, it is really worth your time to watch.

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now…..

Speed painter

Posted: February 7, 2013 in Uncategorized


I thought today about the fact, that we as a society enjoy taking our children to the zoo. Kids can get up close and personal with these magical creatures, and that is absolutely fantastic for the social growth of our youth.

The way I see it, there are two classes of animals which help enlighten our kids.

First; we have the minimum security inmates, which our children are able to actually meet and spend time with.

“Sure little Johnny, you can pet that donkey if you want!”

“That cute lamb?”

“Fucking-A kiddo; it’s yours to pet, AND feed if you want. Just put a few quarters into that candy machine right over there, and get a handful of tasty green pellets.”

Minimum security inmates are usually the non violent criminals.

Sure; that lamb isn’t a threat to us, but in the end it still chose to born a lamb.

Don’t feel bad though, the law is the law. They have a pretty good quality of life while they carry out their mandatory life sentence.

Even if evidence somehow came about that the lamb didn’t want to be born a lamb, that doesn’t change the fact that warden is dirty. He would instantly have any animal shot who could exonerate the lamb, right there in the courtyard……


There is just too much god damn money to be made in those candy machines filled with green pellets, to ever consider letting one of his most gluttonous inmates to go free.

Then we have the maximum security inmates. Tigers, Lions, Gorillas…….etc.

These are the real bad asses of our planet. They don’t get to eat pellets out of little Johnny’s hand like the minimum security inmates do. They don’t bring anything to the table in terms of making extra money for the prison administration. The warden knows this, so these animals get the shaft as a result. This has led to the eventual/ongoing internal gang war, within the confines of the animal prison.

The maximum security inmates say: “Those fucking pussy, hand-fed motherfuckers get preferential treatment…..”

Minimum security inmates have many derogatory names, but are usually just referred to as the “Bitch ass hippy inmates”.

The maximum security inmates say that: “Bitch ass hippies are all about loving/being loved, eating, and being pet. They don’t even touch meat (?!?!?!); and just eat a balanced vegetarian lifestyle based solely on grass and man-made pellets.”

The maximum security inmates will not stand for the inequalities in animal rights that they receive from the humans. At this point in the war; they have progressed to the level of eating minimum security inmates, if the proper conditions occur within human flaws that sometimes occur during a group inmate transportation.

Fortunately for the minimum security inmates, the humans put the bad ass inmates behind heavily fortified cells decorated with fake scenery. They can’t even do the “walk into the horizon bad ass-thing” like heroes in the movies do, without looking stupid when they walk into the painted horizon on their cell wall. Talk about suppressed potential…..

Transportation of inmates is rare, so getting shived by a large tooth from a bad ass, and then being subsequently eaten is uncommon.

At this point, the maximum security inmates have come to the determination that those “Bitch ass hippy, hand-fed mother fuckers” have no reason to ever escape. They have the best possible scenario based on what their genetics has given them for survival on the streets.

Lets just say……that the “Bitch ass hippies” never talk smack, whack, or any kind of negative shit towards any bad ass on the streets or when in the joint doing time.

Usually they just put their head down, and try not to make any noise, which would draw attention to their genetically flawed survival ability within a physical confrontation.

But…..within prison; the minimum security inmates can just be fully occupied with being loved, and eating all the grass that they ever want. They don’t have to worry about even being dissed, never mind being eaten by a bad ass. Then there is the whole being pet thing, which rubs them the wrong way. Bad asses like affection too, and they don’t get to shake their leg uncontrollably like the bitch ass hippies do.

The real bad asses of this planet are being suppressed by us. We have the ability contain these species for our entertainment, and unfortunately we do so. We confine them to a space that they would never confine to on their own free will. No visitors for them to eat, or even play with before eating. They don’t even get to kill their meal. We give them very little opportunity to be what they truly are.

I think we should let the maximum security inmates go. If not let go, then there should be no new bad asses incarcerated, since they shouldn’t be incarcerated just because they are born the way that they are.

We should not be allowed to observe them for entertainment, until we can do so in their environment without concern for little Johnny’s safety.

That’s right, you know where i am going with this……

Force fields.

If I could have a force field, I would prefer it to be integrated into my DNA. I don’t want a technology-based wearable suit that could fail, or run out of energy. I want the force field to illuminate from my cells. I also want to be powered by whatever energy source is most efficiently available. This way my force field would never run out.

Energy from food? Eat it.

Sunny day? Soak that shit up.

Cold out? Use it somehow to make cold fusion.

Underwater? Use the water pressure on your body.

If your still reading, you get the point. Superman qualities.

When we are that bad ass; then i think we can then finally walk among the other bad asses, and truly see them up close in their natural state. This is the only time that i think we should be able to observe the true bad asses of our planet, especially considering how we have chosen to treat them over the years.

So all we need is force fields from our cells, and energy usage from any available source.

Then we can hand feed, and pet the bad asses……

I have a cat which I have come to call Big Lion. I have recently become aware that if I wear my jacket, I can pet her without concern of her swatting my forearm with her claws. It’s like I can do whatever I want to her without repercussions, because of my humble force field jacket.

Imagine someday having a tiger eating meat out of your hand, AND you get to keep your hand/life. Rub it’s belly and hit its g-spot on its stomach, tigers really love that shit. Fear not; you are now superhuman, that uncontrollable leg movement will hurt you no more.

After that, you could talk as much smack to that gorilla or lion without concern for your safety….

Tell him that his mom is severely overweight or has a case of the fuglies.

Say you knocked up his sister, and:

“oh yeah… feel that its really doubtful that you will be sticking around to do all that fatherly stuff, because you will in fact be too busy trying to knock up as many other females as possible….”

Then say that it’s a hypocrite, if you feel that they are upset by your brutal honesty.

You can say whatever the fuck you want and it won’t matter, because in the end they won’t understand a single god damn thing that you say.

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now…..