Archive for May, 2010

MADRID – A Madrid hospital says Spanish bullfighter Julio Aparicio has returned to intensive care and is fighting an infection after a horrific goring in the throat by a bull.

Aparicio had left the unit and was recovering well on Monday following surgery to reconstruct his throat, mouth and palate, but outbreak of an infection forced a return to the unit where doctors placed him on mechanically assisted breathing, October 12 Hospital said.

In a statement released Saturday the hospital says Aparicio is now breathing normally and it describes his condition as “grave” but stable.

The matador slipped in a bullring, fell to the ground and a 1,168 pound bull drove his right horn through Aparicio’s throat and out his mouth.

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Push Play and listen while you read….I like this song.

This conversation took place at my house last weekend upon sitting down at the fire outside.  I have many conversations to blog about which are better than this one, but I owe it to LOST, to post this now before the grand finale.

I am unsure of who exactly said which parts, so I am just labeling everyone as “Person #”.  SPOILER ALERT! Not that it will make any sense towards a NON-LOST viewer….

Person 1

“I wonder how the Man in Black was able to kill his mother?”

Person 2

“Maybe it was because he stabbed her, before she had a chance to speak to him……”

Person 1

“Yeah I guess that’s possibly right, since Dogen said the same thing to Sayid, regarding him stabbing someone who he will see that he knows from his past, AND he knows is dead, before he has a chance to speak to him, or else it will be too late.”

Person 3

“Yeah but, the Man in Black’s mother was speaking to him his whole life, so I am not sure if that theory is right.”

Person 2

“Well then, maybe the Man in Black was able to kill his mother, because the dagger was magnetized, upon him throwing it at the well”

Person 4

(Who has never watched an episode of LOST)

“You guys have no idea how ridiculous this conversation sounds……”

Person 1

“…………………..”

Person 2

“……………………………..”

Person 3

“………………………………………..”

Person 1

“You should REALLY consider watching LOST…….”

I am really going to miss this fucking show……

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now…..

It’s only 52 seconds long, watch it all…… I must thank http://www.dlisted.com for bringing this video to my attention

I am sitting on my couch while I watch the television, AND while I read stuff as I browse the web on my girlfriend’s laptop.  I must first confess to you that what I just wrote, is not entirely true.

Actually, I am browsing the web with about 90 percent, if not 95 percent of my attention.  The MAIN form of my entertainment during this time is the reading which I am doing on the internet.  I like to read a few forums on different topics such as movies, poker, television, and home theater stuff.

So the television is on, and the main purpose for it is to have some background noise, and something to occasionally look up at, so the television show that I have on while I read is not necessarily important…….within reason.  It needs to be mildly entertaining, but cannot in anyway be overstimulating.

Since I am more or less reading stuff on the internet, I DO NOT want to have anything on TV which will distract my internet reading, due to over-stimulation.

This means television shows which I find intriguing will not be watched:

  • Because then I will just want to pause it, to watch later after I finish reading whatever the fuck I am reading.  This is counter productive to my reasoning for having the television on in the first place, because if I was just pausing the TV, it would be pointless to even have it powered on since it is just a paused screen.

The television show cannot contain anything which I find annoying either.

  • Annoying characters, actors, or actresses  ALL have the uncanny ability to get into my head, while I am trying to read.  This makes reading pretty fucking difficult for me.  This reminds me of a time in high school English class, a girl kept talking while I was trying to read what we had been assigned to read.  We had time to read most or all of the assignment in class, or we could take it home to do.  I DO NOT LIKE TO EVER have to take schoolwork or work-work home with me, if the option is there for me to not have to take it home.

So yes, I was the good student who was pissed off that:

I couldn’t get my reading work done,

because this girl’s voice went right in my fucking head,

while I was at a place that I really didn’t want to be in the first place,

but as long as I was stuck there,

I mind as well get done what was required of me to get done,

which will help me get good grades,

all while I have the opportunity

TO NOT HAVE TO FUCKING TAKE MY READING WORK HOME.

Fuck, I would have never thought that annoying characters, actors, or actresses on television shows, could have such an affect on my reading ability, to the point that it made my mind have a flashback, to a person that I experienced in life (over ten years ago), who had the same attention wreaking ability on me.

Some people might say to me that:

“Well you were too good of a student,  you shouldn’t have done the work in school, AND you shouldn’t have done the work at home either, and “just winged it” the next day in class….”

I would probably counter respond with :

High school was NOT that fucking difficult to do well in,

it only took a little effort put fourth to ensure that you get decent grades,

and if you did not have the energy to put that little effort into your life,

while you were stuck at school anyways,

your body is not made up of 70 percent water,

your body is made up of 70 percent shit.

So even if you take the biggest shit of your life………your body is still filled up 70 percent, with pure shit.

So you would definitely be a really really big piece of shit.

To get back on track to what the point of today’s blog post is, I have decided to create a graph, which visually explains to you what I was talking about, in regards to my ability to read, based on what type of television show is on in the background as I read:

I hope this helps.

This is What Andrew Michaels is Doing Now……….

So I just asked a bee a question, and I figured that such events usually do not take place in life, so I felt I could write about my experiences to share with you all.

Usually when people speak towards a bee it is with either aggression or fear.  Children usually exhibit fear, and hastily start to flip out while saying something like “Get it away, get it away!”, and they are usually crying or being over dramatic in the process. Children can’t help it for being stupid, they are too young to understand, that the way that they are acting, is more likely to get them stung by the bee.

Adults usually exhibit aggression or anger towards a bee if they so choose to speak towards the bee.  “GET THE FUCK away from me” is a usual statement that an adult might say towards a bee.  Adults can’t help being stupid either, because we all waste our energy speaking to a species like a bee, hoping that the bee will miraculously get the fuck away from us due to what we say to it.

Usually I am quite passive towards bees (or anything in life for that matter), but this fucking bee today was pissing me off so much that I instinctively asked it a question, albeit a rhetorical question.  I am sure that such phenomenon does not occur on a regular basis, so I feel that I am able to coin a term for such a situation.

“Rhetorical questions asked towards a species, which is incapable of answering the question, even if they somehow had the capability of understanding that the question was rhetorical, and need not be answered.”

or RQATASWIIOATQEITSHTCOUTTQWRANNBA (for short)

My passive approach towards bees has suited me well for the past 15 to 20 years.  Don’t get me wrong, I have had to put some shit behind me, and I have had to just let go of the anger and frustration that bees have induced in my life, for this passive nature to occur towards one of my childhood enemies.

I would say that on almost every single occasion that I have been stung by a bee in my life, it has been unwarranted. I was never the idiot who asked for a sting by playing with a bee’s nest, (I was, and I am an idiot for many things, but this is not one of them).  Most stinging occasions occurred during calm moments in childhood life.

Even though these suicidal attacks on me have only brought me pain and frustration during childhood, I have managed to make peace with bees for the most part.  In everyday life, I usually let a bee fly around me, and allow it to do whatever the fuck bees do when they are in close proximity me……………within reason.  I feel that if I let it do whatever the fuck it wants to do, it will leave eventually, without inflicting violence (with deadly consequences for the bee), towards me.  This bee today really put my passive nature I have towards its species to the test.

It was buzzing in close proximity of my face, for FAR too great a period of time, while I was outside tending to my front yard.  At one point during this close encounter, it was WAY too close to my mouth as well, for an extended period of time.

Naturally I had enough and shouted, “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?   GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE, ASSHOLE!!!”

Not only did I ask the bee a question, albeit a rhetorical one, but I also called it a term which I usually reserve for human beings.

On a side note, rhetorical questions are a joy to me.  There is a great pleasure that I experience when I come up with a perfect rhetorical question, as a response towards someone else’s non-rhetorical question, which is asked towards me.

It’s a great “Fuck You, I am smarter than you” response, that I only occasionally come up with on the spot.  I should put about 5 kick ass rhetorical questions in my back pocket, to be pulled out of thin air, on occasions where I feel it seems fit for me to have a “Fuck you, I am smarter than you” response towards a non-rhetorical question, which is asked towards me.

I once described myself jokingly as a type of person, who is not listening to what you say to me 50 percent of the time, and the other 50 percent of the time I am just anxiously waiting for my turn to talk.  If I ever ask you a rhetorical question in person, it probably means that I was not listening to a single word that you said UNTIL I saw an opportunity which I felt could be a time for me to use one of my 5 predetermined rhetorical questions, which I have stored in my back pocket.

Look out world, here I come……..twiddling my thumbs in my head, as I pretend like I am listening to you, all while I am just waiting to exploit an opportunity to use a predetermined rhetorical question on your ass.  I can only hope that it leaves you speechless…….this is my goal, not a big one in my life, but a goal in my life nonetheless.

This is What Andrew Michaels is doing Now………