“I just realized that I might not be as good of a person that I thought I was. “

Posted: January 28, 2011 in ALL ABOUT ME
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I just realized that I might not be as good of a person that I thought I was.  Before I explain what I just did, I must also point out that this is the second Friday night in a row in which I find myself on the couch writing for my blog.

Before you pass judgment and assume that I am getting to a point in my life where I seem to rather stay in on Friday nights, I must say that you need to hear that I am not choosing to sit on the couch and write on Friday nights, it just coincidentally happened that way the past two weeks.

Yes, last Friday night I did indeed do nothing on the couch……..but write about ancient aliens.  This Friday night is different.  Yes, its is like last Friday in every same way except I do indeed have plans.  I am waiting on the couch for my good friend Vin, who is coming over at midnight, he always works second shift at a news station in Massachusetts.

Vin has been a great friend since Kindergarten.  That makes it close to 25 years of friendship in our 30 year old lives.  He has a wife and a daughter now.  Sometimes we get together on a Friday/ Saturday night after he gets out of work.  His wife and daughter will be asleep, so it is a time in which he can come over around midnight and hang out for a couple hours before he heads home.  He still has to wake up at an early time, so we don’t come close to getting wasted.

This was the first time we were to get together in a few weeks, so I decided that I should buy us some beer that I know we will both enjoy. Going to buy this beer leads to the situation I was in which made me originally say  “I just realized that I might not be as good of a person that I thought I was”.

But, before I can explain that situation, I need to talk about which beer I automatically choose and the two different factors which brought me to this decision.

First off, the beer……….. I would buy a four pack of guinness.

Reason 1:

It’s only four beers, so we can have two pints of good dark beer that we both enjoy, we will both be slightly tired so we won’t need much beer.

Reason 2:

The first time that I embraced how wonderful a guinness can be, was when I was given one by Vin who recommended me having one.

Now………………….. you now understand every single thing that came together in order for me to be in a liquor store at 9:00 on a Friday night.

I walked into the small liquor store down the street from my house.

There is only one guy working.  I instantly judge with no control over what I naturally think of him:

“Looks a little thin.  Probably late thirties, early forties.  This fucking guy looks like he drinks quite a bit.  He has that face which makes me feel that the reason he works in a liquor store……….is because he likes to drink.”

I barely make eye contact with this man, who I so quickly judged.  I asked if he had any guinness.  He said “yes”, and walked behind the counter.  I look at the glass door as he opens it,  and then at my prize as he removes it.  He hands it to me, my eyes still on my alcohol.  He mentions a price, and I barely look up at him as I hand him the 20 dollar bill.  He hands me my change, now I fumble to put it in my wallet with one hand which my eyes have now focused on.

I say to him “Thank you very much man, take it easy…….” as I am turning away from him, as I am finishing fumbling with all the bills that need to go in my wallet, as my eyes have never left my wallet.  I never looked up to the guy once.

I then realized, that I never really even acknowledged this guy as being an actual person.  He was initially judged by me upon the first second of me seeing him.  He was nothing more than a worker who I guess that I can instantly create an origin story for.

I didn’t even have the decency to look up at him as I thanked him.  I felt that I caught myself naturally acting as if I was above him.

I realize my ignorance in this situation……….

I need to make amends.

I should go back to that liquor store right now………..

When I see him, I will not judge him this time regarding whether or not he likes to drink………….

I will not make up origin stories explaining how he came about working at this small liquor store…….

I will treat this man as an actual person this time, instead treating him as just a worker who doesn’t deserve my attention………

I will leave right now……….Oh, fuck…….. it is 10:30…………………. The liquor store closed at 10:00.

I will not find him there…….he’s probably well on his way to getting shitfaced in some unknown location as we speak…….

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing on another Friday night……….

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Comments
  1. Joe says:

    The guy was probably glad you kept your head down and were “about business” – you walked in at closing time, he really was probably anxious to get out and drink.

  2. Well Joe, what if he was already drinking? Supply is high, and demand is fairly low later in the evening….

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