Enjoyable food to binge on, Christmas music, and a serious question regarding temporary immortality…..

Posted: December 24, 2010 in ALL ABOUT ME

I guess I have a few things to talk about.

First topic to talk about…….. last night I was in munchies heaven.

This consisted of three different types of food which was consumed in large quantities as I sat on my couch at 12:30 A.M. on Christmas eve.

First, I had a bunch of these golf ball shaped peanut buttery centered and chocolate coating desert thingies that a friend from work made for me.  These things are great, and it is the second year I have been blessed with these in my life.  Last year she was my secret Santa and one of the gifts she gave me was this very delicacy.  I decided last year to try an experiemnt which worked out wonderfully.  I cut them up and made a marshmallow fluff sandwich which was so good that I decided to take a picture of it.  Unfortunately, I cannot find this picture I took.  Also, I ate all of them this year during my munchies session last night before I had the chance to make another fluff sandwich.  It was my intentions to have another fluff sandwich this year, but sometimes you do not prioritize your food for future use while you are in the middle of a munchies binge.

My friend is a reader of this blog and occasionally comments here, so maybe she miraculously kept that picture and she can add it under the comment section for me………just don’t hold your breath in anticipation that she kept it.

Second, I had ice cream cake.  Anyone who does not like ice cream cake is obviously a total bitch or a ridiculous asshole.  Vanilla ice cream, chocolate ice cream, chocolate fucking crunchies, and of course frosting.  I usually only eat ice cream cake during someone’s birthday……..except for two different situations that I can think of.  I am eating it this time because it is leftover cake from my girlfriend’s birthday party.  It is easily safe to say that I have eaten a substantial amount more of this cake than my girlfriend has eaten.  It just sits in the freezer, and I am the type of guy who is seriously afraid of that cake getting freezer burn.

The other occasion I can recall eating ice cream cake not during someone’s birthday took place when I was a junior in high school.  I was 16 years old and my mother went away for a few days.  She gave me 30 dollars for food for the weekend.  My job was to go to the supermarket and buy some stuff to make sandwiches and such for the next few days.  I bought a 28 dollar ice cream cake instead.  Plus……….I had two dollars left over.

Third, I had some freshly baked cookies that my neighbor cooked for me.  I was out at a bar last evening from around 7 to 11.  When I got home I stopped by my neighbor’s house to give them some music for a music system I set up in their house.  It was my time and behaviors that took place while I hung out with them, which ultimately caused my munchies binge session last night on my couch when I got home.  I will tell you this much, ice cream cake and fresh baked cookies go phenomenally well with each other.

Second topic to talk about, fucking Christmas.

The other day my girlfriend said to me “You really don’t get into the whole Christmas spirit…..”  She is right, these last few years I admit to just that.  Here’s my fucking problem, the music is fucking killing me.  Christmas music starts way too early these days.  The first time I heard Christmas music on the radio this year was on November 2nd………..November fucking 2nd.

Christmas music should start TWO weeks before Christmas, NOT THREE weeks before Thanksgiving.  I hate it…………99 percent of it.  All the Christmas songs that I used to like to hear have all been distastefully re-categorized as music I don’t give a fuck about ever hearing ever again.  I just got an enema, and any enjoyment I had for any of that music has been permanently flushed out with my large quantities of shit in the tube that is required to be shoved up my ass.  Actually I have never had an enema, but I have done multiple cleanses, I recommend it even if solely for the entertainment value that goes along with seeing how much shit can actually come out of your body after having no solid food for a few weeks.

I understand why these radio stations do what they do.  Our country is in the fucking gutter and Christmas is a good feeling, it makes us think about good shit, not bad shit.  It only makes sense that hearing Christmas music should make you feel a little better if your life is not going as you hoped it would due to the fucked up economy our leaders have caused and allowed us to live in.  I say fuck the leaders, and fuck the Christmas music.  One of the best things about the day after Christmas ……..for me anyways, is that I won’t have to keep changing the fucking radio to find some non holiday music.

Third topic to talk about, a unique question for you to consider.

Let’s say you were given the opportunity to live for another 150 years, and you would be as youthful as you are today.  Obviously just about anyone would take this opportunnity but there is a catch.  Up until this point in your life today, there is a detailed book with pictures that tells the story of your life.  Who you are, why you are who you are, how you are who you are, where you are who you are……..so on and so fourth.  This obviously would be a large book since it details your whole life.  You would then have all of your memories wiped clean and you would go into a purgatory state for as long as it took for you to read the book that details everything about you.  Upon finishing that book, you come out of purgatory and start your 150 year adventure in the world.  You will be 100 percent dis-attached from the person who you once were.  All memories you now have of who you were are remembered in the third person.  You will have no attachments to all of those people in your life today who help define you for who you are.

New memories can be formed from this day forward.

How many of you could essentially pack up and leave forever?  You would essentially be killing yourself and who you are in order to live for another 150 years of youth.  Imagine if the first person you meet was a total douchebag, he would be the closest thing you have to a friend, seeing as you have never talked to anyone before since your memory was wiped clean.  You could very well become a douchebag for the next 150 years.  Think about it………..would you go on the 150 year adventure of youth?  That is a serious consequence…..but it only makes sense that it would take such a serious sacrifice in order to have such an extraordinary opportunity as having all the benefits of being a vampire without any of their weaknesses.  You would be even more bad-ass than “Blade”…….even that day-walker still needed blood or serum to survive, and you wouldn’t.  Plus Blade is in jail right now for tax evasion.  He would beat you in a sword fight though, if he was released from prison during your state of temporary immortality.  You can’t have the upper hand in everything……..

Merry Christmas everyone, I have been waiting two months for this day to come and go.  Now I can finally just enjoy the day with friends and family and put it all the music behind me.

This is what Andrew Michaels is doing now………

  1. Joanna says:

    Those peanut butter things are probably buckeyes, and they are my very favorite holiday treat. I think I had 4 of them last Saturday. Now I might go buy myself a Carvel cake today, but I’m pregnant and it’s my birthday, so I get to do whatever the fuck I want.
    Merry Chrismtas, Anders!

    • Oh boy………..So first, congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry I have not talked you about it sooner. I am sure you and Eric are very happy and excited. Second, Happy Birthday! you are slowly creeping to 35……… I hope you have a wonderful day and wonderful holiday! Thanks for the intel on the buckeyes…..

  2. Jaimee says:

    Chocolate covered peanut butter balls…Merry Christmas!

  3. jen says:

    I too cannot stand the Xmas music. If I hear one more version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” I will scream. It’s weird that so many music stars decide to make over Xmas songs year after year. It’s like, yeah, we know this song… how is your version different?

    So funny – I made buckeyes for a party I went to – everyone was moaning and such. I guess chocolate and peanut butter are a match for all.

  4. joe says:

    this is Andy vs. Freezer burn part 2.
    it’s strange I haven’t even noticed the christmas music, but I can say it’s still echoing through my skull since last year. Any more would induce vomiting, I’d call it a very special christmas cleansing

    • Joe, from time to time I find myself listening to sports radio and I don’t even care about what they are talking about or sports for that matter. It always seems better to just listen to people talk about stuff other than all the shitty music that is on the radio.

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