Alarms, my hair, my barber, and my desire to be like Mike……Douglas… the 80’s.

Posted: September 28, 2010 in ALL ABOUT ME

I love this song… Its called “Help Yourself” by Sad Brad Smith….Push Play if you want to listen to it while you read……..If you don’t see a play button, update your god damn computer…..flash, windows updates, or whatever you do with a mac to update it.  (I bet Macs don’t need updating, but I do not know for sure.  I need a mac that runs windows 7…….)

It’s 7:28 in the morning, my eyes are closed but I am awake.  I am awake because I know that my cell phone alarm is going to go off in 2 minutes at 7:30, and then another alarm will go off at 7:35 as my last backup to wake up in order to not be late for work.  It is then that I realize that I did not set either alarm to go off this morning.

For one reason or another I forgot to set the alarms last night.  I did the only rational thing that I could do at 7:28 in the morning, when I know that my alarm is not set to go off in two minutes like I expected it to do.  At 7:28 I set my alarm to go off in two minutes for 7:30.  I close my eyes, and I feel like I got ripped the fuck off.  It did not feel like two minutes passed by the time the alarm went off, and I guess that makes sense, since it was really only a minute and change.

I turn off my first alarm knowing that I have a five minute window until the next one will go off.  As I am lying there I can’t fall back asleep because I remember that my hair is short.  Typically a person should be able to sleep due to the shortness of their hair, but I cannot.

Having shorter hair means that I have to deal with it.  I prefer longer hair.  I do not have to shower in the morning when I have longer hair.  It does not get as greasy, it does not stick up as much, and it is much easier to make it look presentable when their is some length to it…….go fucking figure.   Since I typically look like a hippy with longer hair, it means it is easier for me to look presentable as a hippie, than it is to look presentable as clean cut dude.   Being a clean cut dude holds a person to a higher standard.  I can’t go into work with short hair that is sticking up, but if I have long hair that is sticking up, I will just blame it on the wind from the car ride over to work, not that I would ever get questioned if my hair was messed up when it was long, because I am held to a lower standard when I have long hair.  I like being held to a lower standard, it makes my good deeds look like amazing deeds.  It makes my smart actions seem like genius actions.  And if I do something stupid, no one ever really thinks too much about it, since I am held to a lower standard.

Back to me in bed…..

I lay in bed with my eyes staring at the ceiling knowing that I am going to have to deal with my hair which is spiking straight up like a Kate Gosselin style, or lesbian spike hairdo.  I question whether if I was pushed into a corner and I had to choose between a lesbian spike haircut, or a male homosexual hairstyle, which would I choose?

…….. Definitely a male homosexual hairstyle, because I could just say that I was metro-sexual and pull it off metro-sexually.

My last haircut before this one I just got took place in March and worked out pretty well.  I brought in a few pictures on my cell phone of Michael Douglas from the 80’s,  for my barber to try to mimic.

I did the same thing this time I went to the barbershop last week, but I feel my barber did not achieve Michael Douglas 80’s greatness this time.  He cut it too short, I feel like I will have to wait an additional month, on top of the usual few weeks, that I typically have to wait until I feel my hair is where it should be at.

Maybe I should get it to the length that I want, and then just invest in a “flowbee”.  I took a new picture on my phone that I will bring to my barber next time.

Now I know this dude is a nobody compared to Michael Douglas, but what the fuck, if it gets my haircut right, I have no problem moving on from Mike.

Hopefully this picture will ensure that next time I do not live in 7 weeks of hair-purgatory, as my sins for cutting it too short are slowly forgiven, with eventual steady growth.

On a side note, go to Google and type in Andrew Michaels.  My main competition for the top two spots is held by Andrew Michaels Spa, I was number 3  for a while but as of today I seem to be number 7, which pisses me off because I have been getting plenty of steady traffic coming to my site, due to people looking on the internet for naked men.

I will overtake Andrew Michaels Spa for the top spot.  This will be a future blog posting regarding my online war with Andrew Michaels Spa…….I don’t know if it is true, but I heard someone say that they give “happy endings” there, has anyone else heard this?  Please let me know in a comment if you have heard anything like this.

Eventually they will advertise on my blog, since I can either work with them or against them, and I obviously have some extra time on my hands to really work against them if I really wanted to……

I don’t want to work anymore, so this is something to pursue.

This is what Andrew Michaels is Doing now…..

  1. Swig says:

    I have a really good hairdresser if you need a reference! I too bring pictures I take on my cell phone and Greg always makes my hair look like I want. We have so much in common!

  2. jen says:

    I knew there had to be at least one post on your hair. It’s epic…

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