The slightly, at least partially, kind of, sort of, semi-responsible Coinstar user…..

Posted: June 18, 2010 in ALL ABOUT ME
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I admit it, I have used a coinstar machine in the past, and have lost out on 9% of my money.  But they print out this neat receipt that you get to take to the customer service desk and get cash money straight…….

I have a lot of change and I have decided that it is not worth it use a coinstar machine in the traditional way, but it just might be worth it to use one in a non-traditional way.  I am going to call this method:

The slightly, at least partially, kind of, sort of, semi responsible Coinstar usage

A little math:

  • Let’s say it takes 2 minutes to  count out, and roll up 50 pennies.  You have effectively spent two minutes of your time for 50 cents.
  • Let’s say it takes 2 minutes to  count out, and roll up 40 nickles.  You have effectively spent two minutes of your time for 2.00 dollars.  You are still spending the same two minutes as the pennies, but you are now spending those two minutes on 4 times as much money as the pennies.
  • Let’s say it takes 2 minutes to  count out, and roll up 50 dimes.  You have effectively spent two minutes of your time for 5.00 dollars.  You are still spending the same two minutes as the pennies, but you are now spending those two minutes on 10 times as much money as the pennies.
  • And finally, let’s say it takes 2 minutes to  count out, and roll up 40 quarters.  You have effectively spent two minutes of your time for 10 dollars. You are still spending the same two minutes as the pennies, but you are now spending those two minutes on 40 times as much money as the pennies.

I am the type of person that realizes that my time is worth just as much as my money.  Getting “fucked out of 9 percent of your money” by coinstar is only true if you decide to lazily give them all of your coins.  In actuality, by you giving them all of your pennies, they are not fucking you in the slightest bit, they are actually helping you out by giving you some time away from rolling your dirty pennies.

For example, if it takes 2 minutes to count out and roll 50 pennies, then over the course of three hours, you will have effectively rolled 90 rolls of pennies.  This equals 45 dollars.  Now lets not forget that you spent three hours doing this…….

If you take the 4500 pennies to Coinstar, they will fuck you out of 9 percent of your money, so:

45 dollars

minus

4 dollars and 5 cents (which is 9 percent of 45 dollars)

Equals 40 dollars and 95 cents.

You just worked for three hours, and saved 4 dollars and 5 cents…..

OR

You just worked for 1 dollar and 35 cents an hour, for three straight hours.

Now I am not trying to sound like a total douchebag, but my time is worth slightly more than that.

I am from now on going to follow the rules of the slightly, at least partially, kind of, sort of, semi responsible Coinstar user:

I will continue to use Coinstar on every opportunity I get, but it will only be for all of the pennies, and I feel you should follow suit……..  If you are a real slob, I guess you could give Coinstar your nickles as well, but as soon as you start giving them your dimes and quarters, you enter the realm of starting to be an extremely lazy piece of shit. Not that I would judge……..

This is What Andrew Michaels is doing now………..

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Comments
  1. Swigs says:

    It’s like you already knew what I do with my coins! I am very cheap and 9% is money so I only use Coinstar for my pennies too!

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