Movie Review: Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Posted: March 14, 2010 in Our own twisted movie reviews
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The first time I saw Boondock Saints, was because of one of my roommates I randomly was assigned to and met in college my sophomore year.  Bill became a very good friend through the years, and I remembered stopping by his house to help him move back to college our Junior year.  The first thing he mentioned to me was a movie in which I NEEDED to see.  It was “Boondock Saints”, the year was 2000, and it was watched many times.  Bill recently contacted me telling me he wanted to review Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day and put it on my blog.  I must say that I started to read this review, but I am holding off for a bit to read it until I witness the sequel for myself so I go into it with a fresh mind.  I hope you enjoy Bill’s review of  Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day. (I have since watched this movie, and my response is at the end of Bill’s review. March 21, 2010)

BILL’S REVIEW

Background:  The Boondock Saints

It would be unfair to share this review without first explaining the eager anticipation for which I awaited the release of this movie.  Boondock Saints came out in my college years.  It would have been  even HUGER than it was if it had not been for the untimely Columbine shootings that took place upon its completion.  Nobody would touch the movie as it was thought to glorify gun violence, and it was kicked dirctly to DVD.  Simply put the movie was incredible.  My drunken college allies and I jumped aboard the wave of awesomeness that carried the film to its  renown cult classic status.

The film had it all: original soundtrack by writer/ director Troy Duffy’s Band The Brood (later renamed The Boondock Saints), great cinematography, a tangible script, and an emphasis on guns and vigilantism.   The characters were well developed and easy to love; I don’t know anybody who has seen the film that would not give a nut to have a Guinness with the MacManus brothers at Doc McGinty’s Bar….even if they don’t like Guiness or have a nut to spare.

The Boondock Saints is one of those movies that is  not only is in  the DVD collection, but has been watched a hundred times.  I bet it inspired a lot of pea coat sales and fake Irish accents. …I know it influenced my first handgun purchase: a Beretta 92FS.  Here are some clips to set the mood:

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

My wife came home with a movie, fresh from the RedBox, and taunted me, “Guess what’s out?”  I squealed like a school girl, running over to the DVD player….I hadn’t known that it had been released!  When the title screen came on I had goose bumps.  I was on the couch with my feet on the coffee table, a newly poured whiskey and coke next to me with beads of condensation dripping down the glass…”Fuckin-A,”  I thought, “life is good.…this moment is 10 years in the making.”

Intro:

The intro grabbed my attention with a lead in by the ghost of Rocco…the boys have been living a quiet life in Ireland and have grown big ass dirty hippy beards.  After learning of the slaying of their beloved preacher they get all “crazy” and prep for their return to the states in a spliced scene of cleaning their guns and cutting their untamed hair/beards with sheep shears.  Looking as fresh as a bar of Irish Springs soap they are dressed to kill.  FUCKING GAY!!!!

This scene was so Ramboesque…it could not have been more stereotypical if they had finished the scene by tying red sweat bands around their heads.  They are wanted men in America…perhaps they should have kept the hippie thing going and thrown on a couple tie dyed shirts…they would have been unrecognizable.

On a side note, Sean Patrick Flannery looked as though he had Cushing’s Disease or is suffering from a bad sinus infection.  Allergy to bad scripts?

Meet Eunice Bloom:

The FBI detective on the case is a hotshot female.  She gets out of her escort vehicle with a close up camera shot panning up from her red stiletto heels and climbing her tight, black nylon-clad legs.  This really build some anticipation…at least I think that’s what that feeling was.  I almost shit myself when the head shot revealed Julie Benz, the dumb blond that plays Dexter’s romantic counterpart, Rita in Showtime’s DEXTER.  I’ve wanted to punch that chick in the face ever since season 1 of Dexter.  Now, sporting one of the worse forced accents that I have ever heard….let’s say aristocratic old west whore….I wanted to punch her in the face and kick her in the uterus.  Sufficed to say I lost my…er…anticipation.

As her character, I hesitate to say “develop” here because we never learn much about Bloom and her background, “develops” we find she is just as eccentric as FBI Agent Smecker (Willem Dafoe)was in Boondock Saints….headphones and all while piecing together crime scenes.  She begged me to despise her more by sporting a belt buckle holster for her firearm.  Who would ever do that?  Besides being impractical, it leant no credibility to her character as a believable FBI agent….she looked like a comic book character.

Rocco’s Replacement:

The brother’s MacManus hitch a ride to the states on a Cargo ship.  They meet “Romeo”….think a tatooed Tommy Chong from Cheech & Chong….and befriend him.  Romeo is nothing more than a replacement for Rocco.  He is quirky, dumb, impulsive, has long dark hair, and seeks belonging.  Problem is he is not Rocco!  Rocco was great in his role, but he got shot and killed in Boondock Saints.  Leave his character there so we can appreciate him for what and who he was!  I don’t give two shits about the spic pseudo-Rocco.  He has no bearing in the story and  his character has not been developed.  This is the point at which I said  “Really?….is Duffy going to repeat the same movie with shittier characters?”   The answer would be revealed as a disappointing, “yes.”

Concezio Yakavetta:

Here is the son of the badass Italian mob boss….you know….the “I’ll have a Coke!” guy.  Talk about piss poor character selection. …Judd Nelson?  You have a giant pool of out of work actors to choose from, and you pick the Breakfast Club guy?  Let’s get Molly Ringwald in here to play the MacManus’ long lost mother.  Also, I think Emelio Estevez would have played a ruthless assassin. …

Papa Yakavetta was smooth like fine wine.  This guy is Pabst Blue Ribbon on a good day.   He doesn’t look, sound, or act like his supposed father.     Nelson does however look, sound, and act like Rocco from the first movie.  Same fucked up nose too.  Why risk the confusion?

Yakavetta Assasination Scene:

Rope saves the day….again.  If this isn’t beating a dead horse, they even fight over “bringing fuckin’ the rope” before it’s divine need is revealed.  Sound familiar?  Sounds boring.

When the boys visited the gun dealer, they were each gifted a pair of .50 Compensated Dessert Eagle Pistols.  This weapon has a magazine capacity of 7 in the magazine and 1 in the tube, for a total of 8 maximum shots without a reload.  Given that each brother had two guns, they were capable of each sending 16 bullets downrange without a reload.   In this scene they kill many with many well aimed shots (I counted over 50 and erred on the side of caution) without a reload.  Nit picky?  Maybe…but this kind of shit bothers me.  When I watch a movie I want it to be believable….the plausibility adds to the entertainment value.

Return of Agent Smecker:

His accent was COMPLETELY different.  He went from traditional weird ear piercing Willem Dafoe voice in the first movie to the same bastardized old west aristocratic whore accent as his counterpart Agent Bloom in the second movie…..WTF!?

Repetition, repetition, repetition:

*Brothers fuck with Romeo at gunpoint and then bust out in laughter, just like they did with Rocco in the first movie.

*Symbolism Conversation between FBI Agent Smecker and Detective Dolly in Boondock Saints/ sybolism conversation between FBI Agent Bloom and Detective Dolly in All Saints Day

*Agent Smecker and Agent Bloom might as well be the same character.  They both are eccentric, both know it all, and prefer fucking men.

*Botched plans that end up somehow going right dominate the action scenes of both movies

*Same exact gun purchase scene from the underground IRA arms dealer

*Rope saved the day in both movies

*The “Okay Coral” was again referenced during a crime scene investigation.

There are more of these similarities than I can’t count…but I don’t want to.

Saving Grace:

*The back story of Billy Connolley’s character was original and interesting.  I cared more about the flashbacks of his youth than the present day portion of the movie.

*It was cool when Greenly got killed…one of the only unpredictable things in the movie.

*Ending set up for another sequel….maybe Duffy could try to not fuck this one up.

If you are a fan of the Boondock Saints you have no choice but to see the sequel, All Saints Day.  I can only relate it to being starved to death and resorting to drinking your own urine.  Hopefully it sustains you long enough until somebody produces for you a nourishing meal.  Enjoy the anticlimactic self-plagiarized All Saints Day, and pray something better is around the corner.

(END OF BILL’S REVIEW……..)

MY RESPONSE

Bill……………. Kerri and I watched this last night.  I have to disagree with you, I thought that there were no saving graces at all in this film.  I sat in disbelief the entire movie while I watched:

  • the EXTREMELY shitty acting
  • awful new characters (detectives and mob were all extremely bad and VERY unbelievable)
  • with no curiosity from myself to see how the crime scenes became the way they did, unlike the first film
  • the fucking awful music
  • the retarded dream sequences with Rocco AND hockey
  • the terrible drinking scenes which did not look fun at all, unlike the first movie
  • the inexcusably awful “planning sequence” for the drug warehouse
  • the male nudity galore, (and I am the type of guy that some people might think wants this in a movie based on my blog postings with male lost characters being shirtless)
  • very lame brother-fighting

I read that Sean Patrick had plastic surgery right before the filming of this and that his face had still not “calmed down” from it.  Troy Duffy said that he wants to do a directors cut, which has and extra 30 to 40 minutes, and I can only think that it already felt way too long.

I was never entertained during this movie.  I usually do not sit through entire movies that are this bad, but for some reason, I felt compelled to continue watching this awful movie until the end, regardless of what my instincts told me to do.  I can easily say that this is THE WORST movie that I have watched from beginning to end in a LONG TIME.  Usually I just turn off a movie that is this bad.

People usually do not ask me, “What is the worst movie that you have seen lately?”  but before watching this movie, I would have responded to that question with ……. “People usually do not ask me that question, but I am glad you did, It was called Dark Ride”, I saw that movie over three years ago.  It takes a long time to replace my least favorite recent movie viewing experience, since I usually turn them off if they are this bad.  I foresee that for many years to come, if anyone, for some fucked up reason asks me, “What is the worst movie you have seen lately?”, I feel that my response for a long time, will be Boondock Saints 2.  I have less interest in watching the first one now too……..

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Comments
  1. tristan says:

    wow that was a good review but you dont know wut a good movie is then.it was ok it wasnt that bad.they did try to make it like the first one but felled epicly.it did tho have its fucking funny moments tho.its a great movie but you have to really like the series

    • Well hello Tristan! I truly appreciate you commenting on my blog, this is evidenced by my rather quick response. It is not often that I actually get a comment from someone who I do not know. In fact this might only be the 2nd or 3rd time that such an occurrence has occurred. Because I have the utmost respect for people who comment on my blog, I promise not to make fun of any of your spelling or grammatical errors (this is the internet after all…..).

      There are only two movies in this “series” that you talk about liking. Bill and I loved the first movie when it came out. At that point it was not a series, the second movie had not yet come out.

      It is impossible to like the series of something that consists of only two movies, and one of them being truly awful. We were fans of the series up until the point that we watched the second movie. Then we only liked the first one, but not as much as before because the second film made us like the first one less for some strange reason.

      If there were 3 movies in the series, and lets say the first 2 were of equal quality and then the third one was awful, then in that instance I would say I am a fan of the series. Some might view the original star wars trilogy this way. I never did though, I was perfectly fine with Jedi (I was a kid…..ewoks were a big deal to little folk like myself in the 80’s)

      Anyways this is Andy, I run this blog. My good friend Bill wrote that review that you commented on. I would love nothing less than having a Boondocks Saint’s 2 competition between you and him. You make a list of why the movie was good, Bill will rebutal to each of those things that you come up with. You will be allowed to respond to his rebutalls. Then it will broadcast to the world through the use of the internet. Someone…….someday……. will unsuspectingly come upon my site because he is either looking for gay porn or is looking for info on the boondock saints. He will read this competition, and in the comment section he will state who he believes to make a better point……..

      Do you dare accept this challenge?

      Once again thank you for the comment today, I truly appreciate it. I hope to hear back from you…….

  2. […] Movie Review: Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day March 2010 4 […]

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