Hanging curtains……and Ramen Noodles.

Posted: March 1, 2010 in ALL ABOUT ME
Tags: , , , ,

Every now and then I succumb to the domesticated bullshit that goes with slowly becoming adult-like in nature,habit, and behavior.  Five years ago I would have easily justified spending 120 dollars on a bar tab.  Ironically the 25 year old version of myself, would have thought that if someone spent 120 dollars on shades and curtains, that they:  most certainly were lame, slightly retarded, and/or had extremely poor money management skills.

Today I went the same store for the third time in about two days for the same reason each time, the only difference was that the second and third times I went to the same exact store, it was to correct the same mistake that I made the first time I went to the store.

I think I can find the bright side of many situations, since I embrace the fact that it takes me three trips to the same store, in order to properly hang curtains in my house.  I feel this tells me that I still have quite some time until, I can and would, consider myself a full fledged adult, or at least lame enough to successfully hang curtains and shades in one  trip to the store.  This is the bright side…….

As I was in the checkout line at the store for my curtain accessories, the women started to scan my products that I was purchasing with one of those laser scan guns.  She pointed it up in between scanning each product,  and one time she did it in such a perfect way, that she scanned my fucking eyeball.  I must say that many different things raced through my mind right after my brain and eyes were just very inappropriately violated.

  • What if my brain was just secretly scanned and stored?
  • I also thought about the last time I was at war with Ramen Noodles.   I forgot to break up the hardened square of noodles before boiling them.  It was much more difficult eating them with a spoon than I anticipated.  At the same time though, I didn’t want to get up off the couch, in order to get a fork.  There was a lot of slurping, a lot of hanging noodles out of my mouth, and my facial hair required washing upon finishing my meal.  2 hours after finishing my meal, my facial hair got the cleaning and attention it deserved (a good show was on TV).
  • This random thought about my last struggles with a defenseless and offense-less enemy in a battle made me wonder if the cashier was ordered to shoot laser advertisements into our brains making me want to eat more ramen noodles.

I also decided that this day would be the day that I would try to venture out into the scary, unsafe world, without the protection of my splint for my dislocated pinky.  When I got home with my bags for the curtains, I started to drop one of the bags and instinctively went to grab the bag with my left hand, and instinctively used my left, recently dislocated, pinky finger……..  seeing as the neural connections in my hand asks for assistance from all fingers, whether they are recently dislocated or not…….It still fucking hurts, and I feel I still deserve A LOT of attention from my friends and family because of it.

This is WhatAndrewMichaelsisdoingnow……


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