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Lost comes back on for its final season ever TOMORROW.  I have been with lost since September of 2004.   I remember at the very beginning of the show you would see commercials advertising for it, and you would see Charlie  say “Guys……..WHERE ARE WE???”   But at that point we were not associated with Charlie yet.  I would say “Its fucking Merry…… all scruffed up, and not playing a hobbit…..” Now Dominic Monaghan is more known for being Charlie….

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I must say that Lost has had its fair shares of good characters and its fair shares of obnoxious characters.

My only major complaint with Lost, is the amount of extras are used as fellow survivors, who are just in the backround.  Who the fuck do you think you are?  You have some set of balls on you, to run up to someone who has made his or her way back to the camp, so you can greet them upon arrival, but the person you are greeting such as Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Jin, or Locke has never seen or talked to you ever before……..MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY so the recently returned character can see someone who actually matters to them, upon their arrival back home, from a week long adventure in the jungle…..Who the fuck do they think that they are???

I have my serious fears regarding the end of this show.  First off there is a lot to be explained in one more season.  It is very likely that some of the mysteries will be left unanswered.  My second fear is that, what if the show has an awful ending?  I have been loving this show for over 6 years and part of the main reason I have loved it for so long is the ride that it has taken us on.  What if the end of the ride sucks? ( On a side note, don’t ever watch a horror film called Dark Ride, we saw it during the first horrorfest…….actually you should seriously check it out if all other movies that were ever made abruptly cease to exist…..awesome, awesome flick…..)

If the end of lost leaves a bad taste in my mouth it could effectively ruin my capabilities of re-watching the series all over again once it is done.  I have seen every season at least 2 or 3 times, but this last season will determine if  I venture back again or not.  This last season really has the potential to be the beginning of the end of my best television viewing experiences ever.  The shield for instance was an unbelievable television watching experience for me, but I did that essentially alone while viewing it.  Lost has been watched and enjoyed by myself and others I really care about, so it it is much more special.  I really hope it ends on a high note….

One of the best things about Lost is how the island has done a GREAT job of dealing with the annoying characters in a more often than not, deadly way.  I have decided make a list of some of the characters that I have deeply despised, as well as a list of the characters that I have madly fallen in love with.

DEEPLY DISPISED CHARACTERS

Michael

  • “WAAAAAA-HAA-HAA- HAAAAALT………WAAAALLLLLTTT!!!!!!!”

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  • Michael was extremely obnoxious.   He broke Hurley’s heart by killing Libby.  Lets just get this out in the open here…….Libby had much better options other than Hurley on the island anyways.  Sure, Hurley is an awesome guy and would be great to have as a friend, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to curl up next to him and spoon him (especially months without using deodorant).  Also Michael’s return to the show in season 4 was just ok, and not really worth it if you ask me.  I along with everyone else is probably more concerned with seeing what his son, Walt, is capable of since he obviously has something special going on.  There is a distinct possibility that we will never find out though.  The only thing good that Michael ever did was kill another annoying character, Ana Lucia.

ANA LUCCIA

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“THEY’RE SMART…….AND THEY”RE ANIMALS, AND THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE AT ANYTIME……”

Maybe Michelle Rodriguez is a very good actress and that she plays a smug, annoying, bitch really well. On the other hand though, maybe she is like Michael Cera, and is just continuously playing herself in every role she gets.  The only good thing that her character did was kill another annoying character, Shannon.

Shannon

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Notice how Sayid does not respond to her first question.  It is never a good idea to tell someone the truth while they are already down on themselves…..silence is a much better option as opposed to getting someone’s hopes up by lying, or by breaking them down even further by telling them something truthful, which they probably do not want to hear, seeing as it will be something negative they will be hearing about themselves…..

She was always complaining and mooching off other men to get what she wanted.  She has no real talents other than being pretty good looking, which I guess having this talent on an island full of men can be quite convenient.  She played Charlie like a dusty copy of Driveshaft which was bought at the salvation army.

The best thing she could do was barely speak another language, enough to vaguely describe what the radio signal is saying, which is playing on a constant loop in season 1.  Once they found out that the radio signal was playing on a loop, and that they discovered that they were in no real rush to translate the message, they should have kicked her ass to the curb.  Shannon cannot fish, nor can she hunt game.  She would not have survived on her own.  Anna Luccia just sped up the process…..but I ultimately blame the smoke monster with this kill since it was fucking with them all with the whispers of gibberish, just seconds before Anna Luccia fired her gun after being confused and scared for her own life because of the noises the smoke monster made.

I think,  along with “they” think, that you ARE worthless, Shannon….  Sayid is just saying otherwise to you, by saying you are not worthless, because you decided to bump and grind with him, when you could have easily had the likes of your step brother Boone instead.

Boone

There are a lot of reasons why I did not like Boone.  He was in love with his sister for one.  He was too weak to be a leader, so he just became one of John’s sheep.  Although Boone was in shape, he would have been a better runner and hider, as opposed to a leader and a fighter.  We all know that some ass kickings do take place on the island, and if you are not capable of kicking some ass, you will be frowned upon by myself and the smoke monster, and you most likely will be destroyed by said smoke monster or killed by other means in short time.

That guy from “People under the Stairs”

He is annoying as hell for one episode in season 5, and then gets hit by a flying arrow…..which is on fire.  “Historic others” obviously do not fuck around.

Phil


Most people in Lost get killed by conventional means.  Bullets, neck snapping, explosions, sharp blades, drowning,  or the smoke monster thrashing you…… have all played their parts in taking peoples lives on the show.  Phil became very hated once he became an extreme antagonist towards Sawyer and Juliet.  Phil was killed more unconventionally than normal, by being impaled with a large shard of metal right before the Incident.  I feel that this scene was for the fans, since he was so hated for hitting Juliet in front of Sawyer, in order to get Sawyer to talk.

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NOW ON TO CHARACTERS I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH (Yup, they are all dudes)

Richard Alpert

Richard is the fucking man.  The thing that I want most from season six is a Richard Alpert centeric episode.  I believe that we will be getting it too.  One of the later episodes in season 5 starts off with Richard fixing a small ship that is in a bottle (which is most likley representing the Black Rock).  Since the episode started off with Richard, I thought that I was getting my Richard episode then.  I was upset to find that I was wrong.  I feel that if everyone had the passive ability to deal with violence and irrational human behavior the way Richard does, we would live in a much better society.

John Locke

John is a tough one.  I must admit that I was slow to come to enjoy this character.   It was not until season 5 that I really truly enjoyed him, since he seemed to be above everyone else, with a true calling to do something special and extraordinary seeing as he was “brought back to life”.

Unfortunately as we all know, season 5 has some crazy shit going on behind the scenes with his character.  Lots of the awesome things that he did, we find out that it was not really him doing it.  “The island” has been talking to John since season one, but I am in the firm believer group, that it was never the island talking to John, but instead it was always the smoke monster communicating with him through visions of dead people, and using him as a puppet. This means that John Lock was taken advantage of before the island for his whole life, AND then also while he was on the island that he finally felt he found his place.  This makes his character quite sad and pathetic, but I do have some hope that somehow, the real John Locke through the events of the incident will be back and will be a hugely pivotal role in the shows final season.  If not, we will just have to deal with this new John, who we really do not have any clue yet to who he is other than speculations of him being the dude in black, who might be the smoke monster.

Desmond………Brotha

He is easily one of the best characters on this show.  Giving us this character in the season 2 premiere, and then taking him away until the finale, sure was toying with our emotions.  I think that he was in one of the best episodes of the entire show.  This episode was called “The Constant”, and in it he travels through different times of his life to ultimatley be able to make contact with Penny…..  I was saddened that his role in season 5 was very minimal after being spoiled with him throughout seasons 3 and 4.  I know that the island is not done with him yet as per Eleanor, but I have a feeling that his return will be bitter and short lived.  I beleive that Desmond’s role in the show has already peaked, and that his return to the show will probably be just a few episodes at most. I hope I am wrong…….

Sayid

I really did not like Sayid at first, and I will admit that this guy sure did grow on me.  The first time I really became to appreciate him was when he went back to the hatch to confront Ben Linus about the supposed buried wife of Ben’s alter ego “Henry Gale”.  The fact that he dug up the grave to verify if it was a female or not, showed you the length this sick man will go to find answers.

I bet you that we never find out why the real Henry Gale was called upon to the island on his balloon.  Maybe his sole purpose was to die and to be buried, so Ben could pretend to be him, and then Sayid would be put to the test to see if he would unbury him.  If that is the case Henry Gale sure got the shaft from Jacob…….Imagine being brought to a magical island, just so you can die, so you then can be buried, to then see if someone else would dig you up, in order to prove or disprove what someone else is saying…….Poor Henry Gale, you my friend, got the shaft worse than anyone else who was called upon to the island by Jacob.

Back to Sayid….. he has shown more and more of his bad ass capabilities as the show goes on.  Breaking a persons neck using only your legs must be an exhilarating experience for both parties involved. Unfortunately only one of the two involved will live to rethink and relive this exhilarating experience.

Another instance is when he throws a foe onto an open dishwasher which has a bunch of knives pointing up in the direction of the landing foe, all while Sayid has been shot by no less than 2 darts of sedatives.

I really hope that Sayid makes it through with his wounds after the incident of season 5.  He also looked pretty pimp in his purple shirt in season 5.  And he had the balls to shoot and try to kill a child Benjamin Linus.  He is pretty badass.

Sawyer

There are a lot of things that I enjoy about Sawyer.  I have been told that I have Sawyer like hair (read my comments for my previous lost post a few weeks ago….).  I would like to tell all that my hair was long, before Sawyer ever graced us with long hair, which didn’t really start until mid season 1 or season 2.  He has awesome nicknames for everyone.  He also has extensive knowledge in all sorts of cool forms of entertainment whether it be music, movies, television shows, or pop culture.  I must say that I enjoyed Sawyer seasons 1-4 better than in season 5.  I do not like domesticated, cleanly shaven, making a semi honest living version of Sawyer.  I feel that we will be seeing more of the old Sawyer in season 6.

I never really cared too much for Jack, Kate, Charlie, Sun, Jin, and Claire, but out of respect for my girlfriend and friends who feel otherwise I decided not to bash them.  I am looking forward to our first ever scheduled Lost event at my house this Tuesday.  We have had people over in the past for an occasional episode here or there, but this time we mean fucking business.

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Every Tuesday airing of Lost will now be an epic event at my house.  We will have to sit through the commercials together…….everyone already knows NOT TO TALK during the episode and save thoughts for the commercials that which we so despise…….  I considered buying some nice bean bags so we all have proper, comfortable, seating with full on, non obstructed viewing of the bliss which we call Lost…….  Our fellow friendly Lost fans will flock to my house instinctively like the salmon of Capistrano. The beer will flow like wine, on a Tuesday night, all because of the awesomeness of Lost.  GET FUCKING READY, 24 HOURS UNTIL THE PREMIERE OF THE LAST SEASON OF LOST!

This is WhatAndrewMichaelsisdoingnow……….Everything is Lost for the next 17 or so weeks, my blog will occasionally bring up newly aired lost episodes, but I promise to try to stick to non-lost related random nonsense most of the time.  But you must understand that I have been waiting a long time for this.

I also understand if you think that I am crazy due to my writing or my obsession with Lost, but just remember that there are a lot of people in the world that actually watch and enjoy:

  1. The Hills
  2. The Kardasians
  3. The girls next door
  4. Living Lohan …………..”I cannot believe I am wasting a minute of my life, watching these horrific people”….. Anderson Cooper                          
  5. Denise Richards: It’s Complicated
  6. John and Kate Plus 8
  7. The real housewives of whatever town
  8. Kendra
  9. The Tyra Banks show
  10. Extra
  11. Entertainment Tonight
  12. Inside Edition
  13. Kourtney and Klhoe take Miami
  14. Hogan knows best
  15. Brooke knows best
  16. The Jacksons an american dynasty
  17. Ice Truckers
  18. Axmen
  19. Swamp loggers
  20. The Jersey shore
  21. Little miss perfect
  22. Help,I am a celebrity get me the hell out of here,
  23. Dancing with the stars
  24. Americas got talent
  25. Any show about midgets living in a big world
  26. Dr. 90210
  27. Guilianna & Bill

FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE SHOWS…..

I must say that I do enjoy watching some bad television though. I like to watch Pawn Stars…..some of the guys on the show are morons and tools, but they have some cool shit brought into their store…..  I remember the first time I actually gave the show a chance.

I was eating the leftover reheated blooming onion from Outback Steakhouse, I had a nice cold beer, I was wearing the Mex, I was comfortable on the couch,  all while I enjoyed the hell out of Pawn Stars…….. I think I recorded this audio commentary on my phone to write about at a later time, but my phone is dead seeing as I only have a car charger for my phone at the moment…….Maybe by the time I post this, my phone will have enough of a charge to put the recording in this blog…..I plan on only charging my phone in my car until I find my wall charger…..it is very possible that it will be a long time until my phone ever sees the day of a fully charged battery.  If you try to call me and my phone goes straight to voicemail, it is probably because I am too stubborn to buy a new wall charger, since I think that mine is not lost, but just misplaced somewhere safe…….

I might be taking tomorrow off from posting anything, unless there is something related to Lost that I have to talk about……

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Comments
  1. Thanks Pete……I already bought a car charger for 15 dollars, I figured the wall charger will one day resurface, and when it does it will not make the car charger obsolete…….if I buy another wall charger and then find my old one, now I will be pissed for spending an additional 20 dollars on a wall charger…….for some very odd reason I am acting like I actually care about what I spend my money on.

  2. Joanna says:

    I fucking love Des and Sayid, and The Constant is one of my favorite episodes. There was a great article in the NY Times yesterday about the final season. The writers promise the end won’t be a sucky “they all dreamed it” or “None it is real” or even a blackout like The Sopranos. We’ll see 🙂

  3. Drew says:

    Can’t fucking wait…

    Are their graphs to go along with your loss of a wall charger?

  4. Sean M says:

    Easy on the Jersey Shore and Ice Trucker digs. Both are clearly classics. GTL…gym, tan, laundry! Not to mention Paulie D is Dejaying @ Dave’, Bar and Grill on Friday. Let’s meet up some grill cheese and a blowout!

  5. thats a good idea drew……I have been without it since last Sunday, I am sure I could put something together…I might go to dave’s bar and grill on Friday just to see the crowd he pulls in…..its rare when such a gathering can be predicted AND take place in Warwick, I may need to video document it for Planet Earth.

  6. Nico says:

    Dammit. You had me until you had to go and talk ill of So You Think You Can Dance, the only show from your banned list that I watch, but I thoroughly enjoy it….

  7. well to be honest Nicopholopolous, I only put that there because it is one of the many contestant shows in this day and age with 3 judges who critique the performer…..so maybe it is an ok show, I think it will just take a lot for me to try to sit through an episode to find out if I get any enjoyment out of it…..

  8. Meredith (Swigs) says:

    What about Hurley? I find him very enjoyable! I too am breathless with anticipation about this season. I got hooked on the show when I borrowed Season 1 DVD from a student I was tutoring and watched the whole thing almost in one sitting. It’s like crack. Totally addicting! The ending better not suck like Soprano’s did and I agree with you that some questions will be left unanswered and totally annoy us.

  9. Hey Swig…..I do enjoy Hurley but for the purposes of the blog I had to make cuts at some point. The only problem is that he says “dude” as much as I do, so I get an idea what it must be like to listen to myself talk. Anyways, for all who care and are wondering, I loved the two hour premier……I love how this show keeps giving us shit that we are never to expect. I doubt that anyone had a theory that we would see the island underwater, even if it is in some type of screwy alternate time line……

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